My almost 5 year old is starting kindergarten in less than a week. The school had sent a list of "school supplies" that he needed to bring when we go to meet the teacher. I am new to this whole school supply shopping. The school I have enrolled him gave me a convenient option of buying a "wrap pack" which is basically that they would do the shopping for us for a certain amount. I do not love shopping. I wish I had a personal shopper every time I set foot in a store. But I glanced, the key word being - glanced - at the list and figured I could get them all for less than half the price, no sweat. ROOKIE MISTAKE.
So once when I was at Walmart with my parents, buying something else, I saw some school supplies on sale. Pretty much everything there on sale was on the list. I was happy and there were only 7 or 8 items left. And then we left for vacation and forgot all about the list. When we got back, someone said something about a tax free weekend and I went to Target to get the rest of the items. And that is when I hit the snag.
First the crowds. You would think Target was giving things away for free instead of it being tax free. There were all these hassled looking moms and dads frantically searching for things on the list. I heard one mom say loudly "the list says 8 count Crayola markers, but they only come in 10 count." I hear you, sister, I hear your frustration. I just consider the extra 2 my donation to arts and crafts and move on. What else is a mom to do?
Second, I forgot my cell phone. So when I came to an item called "brad folders" what else to do but ask the wise internet? The employees were trying their best to avoid eye contact. I sympathize with them. Why risk it with a horde of crazy eyed moms? So anyway, brad folders turned out to be "pronged folders." Okay, here is the thing. I may be dumb, but if it already has a name, why confuse it with new technical names? At this time, I have to digress and say that I felt for my husband who hates it when I use technical names. Which is why when he asks me now where the sugar is, I reply "It is in the shelf behind the door next to the table near the window." instead of saying it is in the pantry.
Third was the confusing items
1. "xerographic paper". I boldly made an assumption that it was copy paper using the connection of Xerox machine being a copy machine. I was proud of my excellent logical, analytical and reasoning skills. The engineering degree is not a waste. I knew God gave me those skills for such a time as this.
2. pre-sharpened pencils. Do not get me started on pre-sharpened pencils. I would start by saying that it represents what is wrong with the world today. But for the sake of this post, I would just talk about the brand. They wanted Paper Mate. Which is fine and dandy, except that paper mate does not carry pre-sharpened pencils. There was this other brand called Tricon something or the other. It sounded very much like a dinosaur name. By their own admission, they are the best. If you ask my opinion, I bet this dinosaur pencil ate its direct pre-sharpened competitor. Else why would Paper Mate have every other variation of pencil and not this one?
3. The sketch book. There was this very specific kind he is supposed to have and I could not find it anywhere for love or money. Laying aside that fact, I am wondering about the whole idea of a sketchbook in nice bond paper for my child. Listen, y'all. I love my kid. I really do. But let us face facts. He has inherited all of his mothers skills as far as art goes. Except it is 10 times worse. Which means his idea of drawing is, holding the pencil like a dagger and drawing lines until the page tears and indents the next 5 pages if it is a book. For this kind of exercise, I have found old paper more than sufficient. I am really interested to see what is going to happen with his "sketch book."
So in about 4 trips, I think I can call my supply list complete. If time were money, I must have spent double the wrap-pack amount on school supplies this year. But that only applies if I had used the time I spent shopping in doing work that makes or saves money. But if I am honest, I would have used that time to catch up on episodes of "Scandal", so it is not really true. I thought in saving a few bucks, my husband would praise me, instead he was mildly annoyed that I forgot my phone when I went out. When I brought home all the supplies and showed it to my son, I thought he would rise up and call me blessed. Instead he promptly informed he is not planning on going to kindergarten anymore.
So that is what I would call a very successful shopping trip if I wanted to lie through my teeth. But here is the deal. Next year, I am taking the "wrap pack." There isn't enough Xanax to cover another round of this.
