Choices

Today I finally closed one chapter in my life. I was not actively working for the company I used to work for, but I was still on the roster and had not cut the ties completely. Not because I wanted to hang on to the job, but for various other reasons I just don't want to get in to in this post. I went there with Neil, got my pension papers. Instead of 401k matching, my company used to put a specified amount each year for all the employees. And now that I "retired", I was able to vest it. It is truly the Lord's provision (We had completely forgotten about it). R and I were talking about saving up for our tax return. This year we will end up paying a lot of money on our return and since we are a one income family now, saving is not quite that quick. Praise God for meeting our needs.

I joined work on January 2, 2006 and my last day of full time work was August 20, 2009, just before I left for maternity leave. After that I worked part time, from home, on call until July when I left for India. When I came back, I submitted my resignation, but nothing was acted up on until today. I walked out of the office for the last time today. There was a lot of drama since I re-joined work after maternity leave in 2009. God worked out the details such that I walked out with my head held high, a satisfaction of work well done and fulfilling Colossians 3:23

²³ And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, (Colossians 3:23, New King James Version)

Since we went to town, we made a half day out of it, by going to Babies R us, Costco and the insurance office to pay our van insurance. And being out half day, there was no time to prepare lunch, so Neil and I shared a n*ked (just want to stop the spam) burrito from Qdoba and got a subway for R. Neil fell asleep on the way back and I was just in a contemplative mood. Recently, I saw an email from a friend (who is in a very high position in a company) who has two kids. Being in a high and responsible position, she just gets home to have enough time to barely see her children before bath time and bed. Both husband and wife have great careers, so they have the best childcare etc. But she says she regrets not being able to see her kids grow and being unable to spend much time with them. Choosing to stay home with the kids or continuing with a career are intensely personal choices (If you are lucky enough to be able to actually make a choice and it is not focred upon you by things beyond your control). On the half hour drive back, I had an epiphany. When we make these kind of choices though, we are not really making a present day choice.

We are choosing regrets.

We are choosing 20 years from now what we will regret more. Not spending enough time with our children or not having had a career/paycheck. I know a lot of us don't have the luxury of choice. Circumstances force some who want to be with the kids to be at the workplace. And you will never find one word of condemnation or condescension for outside working mamas here. And I know that if our circumstance change, I will find work and work cheerfully in a heartbeat. But now, I have the blessed privilege of choice and when I thought about what would be my regrets, it was very clear to me that I have made the right choice.

Tampa and Back

So, I am back.

It is good to be home. Even with the luxury mattress in the hotel that my company put me in, the insomnia didn't ease up. I slept a little better yesterday, and I am glad to be back with the dear husband. He missed me so bad that he wrote me a poem while I was away. It is 15 lines and quite cute.

The rental car was supposed to come and get me at 4:30 instead they came in at 5:45. I was upset since there was quite a storm that day and I wanted to be on the road before it got dark. That didn't happen obviously. Without my consent, they changed my rental location, which caused all the misunderstanding. I spoke slowly (I have a tendency to talk very fast) to the manager and let him know politely that I was disappointed with Enterprise and he apologized and gave me a free upgrade to a Prius. I patted myself on the back for not flying off the handle and getting a good deal. Prius means less gas, less money company has to pay and happier they are with yours truly. Well the self congratulation didn't last very long. The guy escorted me to a Prius and apparently, it is different than a regular car. I won't bore you with the features, but now I had to drive in the night, rain, fog, and wet roads to a place I was not familiar with, in a car I was not comfortable in. It was a great start. And I had yet to buy pjs for the night. Finally, when I started at 7 pm, my colleague called to say that we had to get some stuff from Kinkos and they close at 8 and if I would be there by then. Well, there was no chance of that and I told him that. Finally, he was supposed to come in at 10 and I said that we will meet at the airport and I started driving.

He called again later to say that his flight was delayed and he will come in at 10:30. He was also nice enough to tell me not to bother picking him up, but he will come in by himself since it was so late. I reached in front of Hyatt by 9 pm and spent until 9:45 going from street to street looking for their parking. I got lost and with all the one way streets, I was not even sure if I was in the way of the oncoming traffic. Somehow I ended up back at the hotel, requested valet parking, threw the keys to the guy, and checked in. I had had enough.

The fun thing was that it looked good that I drove up in a Prius for a Climate Change conference. Even though it is a rented one. By the way Prius is a good car once I got used to it, but don't buy it unless you care more about the climate than making a good car buying decision.

I didn't sleep well as I mentioned, but I had a full day ahead of me, and it went well. In the evening, there was a networking social and I pretended to be interested in everything and everybody and laughed at lame jokes and counted the time until I could go back to my room respectably. There was sushi and spring rolls and wine, champagne, and beer. My colleague and I and another lady we met went out for dinner and I had Paella. It is basically rice and a ton of seafood.

There was nothing good on tv when I came back to the room and so I tossed and turned and tried to sleep. Next morning we had sessions until noon and then I took my colleague to the airport and I left for home.

To drive home the point that I should probably not be giving any kind of advise to you all, I forgot to pack my toothbrush in the kit!!!

And on a totally unrelated note...

WHAT IS UP WITH ALL THIS COLD IN FLORIDA???

Okay, that shouting made me feel a little better.