So much has been written about facebook. I don't know too many people under the age of 60 who doesn't have an account. I am not going to talk about the pros and cons of facebook. That has been beaten to death. Maybe someone has written about this already, but there is one aspect which I find very unsettling. They are the ghost friends. I am aware that maybe it is because this is a problem just for me.
Who are ghost friends?
They are people who are on your friends list who are fairly active on facebook, but in all the years that you have friended them has never once "liked," commented or messaged you.
I have some ghost friends. Some of them are family by marriage who I have never met in person. Some are friends. I find that very voyeuristic and makes me feel uncomfortable. That someone is reading about my life by reading my statuses every other day and never cares to connect in any way? In the time since I opened my account, I had a baby, he had a birthday, tons of cute pictures, celebrated 2 anniversaries, 2 birthdays and not one comment?
You could ask me why I cannot just delete them. The thing is I hate doing that. Which brings me to something that my husband thinks is very mean. I have about close to 30 unaccepted friends requests in my account. I am too nice to click the ignore button, but I have not clicked the accept button either. One reason is that most of them use facebook to play stupid games. I do not want to get umpteem statuses about the cows, goats and rattlesnakes which I could care less about. Once I have a lot of people on the list I will have an unmanagable news feed (as I mostly check facebook every other day on a computer) and I will miss updates from people who I actually care about.
So now that you all know that I am a mean person, I hope you still come back to read. I do have to add that I have another account (not facebook) and all these people who have requested to add them are my "friends" there and haven't interacted in years. That is the main reason why I hesitate to add them here.
Actually, I have found a workaround to all the requests which I am implementing now. I had another facebook account which I have pretty much never used. I will add all friends there and am waiting to see if anyone interacts. If they do, I will tell them about the real account. You may think I am nuts to overthink it so much. But, this is how I manage my facebook time online. I do not need more things to overwhelm me.
How do you manage facebook?
Showing posts with label Finding balance in imbalance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Finding balance in imbalance. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Choices
Today I finally closed one chapter in my life. I was not actively working for the company I used to work for, but I was still on the roster and had not cut the ties completely. Not because I wanted to hang on to the job, but for various other reasons I just don't want to get in to in this post. I went there with Neil, got my pension papers. Instead of 401k matching, my company used to put a specified amount each year for all the employees. And now that I "retired", I was able to vest it. It is truly the Lord's provision (We had completely forgotten about it). R and I were talking about saving up for our tax return. This year we will end up paying a lot of money on our return and since we are a one income family now, saving is not quite that quick. Praise God for meeting our needs.
I joined work on January 2, 2006 and my last day of full time work was August 20, 2009, just before I left for maternity leave. After that I worked part time, from home, on call until July when I left for India. When I came back, I submitted my resignation, but nothing was acted up on until today. I walked out of the office for the last time today. There was a lot of drama since I re-joined work after maternity leave in 2009. God worked out the details such that I walked out with my head held high, a satisfaction of work well done and fulfilling Colossians 3:23
23 And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, (Colossians 3:23, New King James Version)
Since we went to town, we made a half day out of it, by going to Babies R us, Costco and the insurance office to pay our van insurance. And being out half day, there was no time to prepare lunch, so Neil and I shared a n*ked (just want to stop the spam) burrito from Qdoba and got a subway for R. Neil fell asleep on the way back and I was just in a contemplative mood. Recently, I saw an email from a friend (who is in a very high position in a company) who has two kids. Being in a high and responsible position, she just gets home to have enough time to barely see her children before bath time and bed. Both husband and wife have great careers, so they have the best childcare etc. But she says she regrets not being able to see her kids grow and being unable to spend much time with them. Choosing to stay home with the kids or continuing with a career are intensely personal choices (If you are lucky enough to be able to actually make a choice and it is not focred upon you by things beyond your control). On the half hour drive back, I had an epiphany. When we make these kind of choices though, we are not really making a present day choice.
We are choosing regrets.
We are choosing 20 years from now what we will regret more. Not spending enough time with our children or not having had a career/paycheck. I know a lot of us don't have the luxury of choice. Circumstances force some who want to be with the kids to be at the workplace. And you will never find one word of condemnation or condescension for outside working mamas here. And I know that if our circumstance change, I will find work and work cheerfully in a heartbeat. But now, I have the blessed privilege of choice and when I thought about what would be my regrets, it was very clear to me that I have made the right choice.
I joined work on January 2, 2006 and my last day of full time work was August 20, 2009, just before I left for maternity leave. After that I worked part time, from home, on call until July when I left for India. When I came back, I submitted my resignation, but nothing was acted up on until today. I walked out of the office for the last time today. There was a lot of drama since I re-joined work after maternity leave in 2009. God worked out the details such that I walked out with my head held high, a satisfaction of work well done and fulfilling Colossians 3:23
23 And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, (Colossians 3:23, New King James Version)
Since we went to town, we made a half day out of it, by going to Babies R us, Costco and the insurance office to pay our van insurance. And being out half day, there was no time to prepare lunch, so Neil and I shared a n*ked (just want to stop the spam) burrito from Qdoba and got a subway for R. Neil fell asleep on the way back and I was just in a contemplative mood. Recently, I saw an email from a friend (who is in a very high position in a company) who has two kids. Being in a high and responsible position, she just gets home to have enough time to barely see her children before bath time and bed. Both husband and wife have great careers, so they have the best childcare etc. But she says she regrets not being able to see her kids grow and being unable to spend much time with them. Choosing to stay home with the kids or continuing with a career are intensely personal choices (If you are lucky enough to be able to actually make a choice and it is not focred upon you by things beyond your control). On the half hour drive back, I had an epiphany. When we make these kind of choices though, we are not really making a present day choice.
We are choosing regrets.
We are choosing 20 years from now what we will regret more. Not spending enough time with our children or not having had a career/paycheck. I know a lot of us don't have the luxury of choice. Circumstances force some who want to be with the kids to be at the workplace. And you will never find one word of condemnation or condescension for outside working mamas here. And I know that if our circumstance change, I will find work and work cheerfully in a heartbeat. But now, I have the blessed privilege of choice and when I thought about what would be my regrets, it was very clear to me that I have made the right choice.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Junkyard Central
I have a question for you, my interpeeps.
HOW DOES TWO PEOPLE ACCUMULATE SO MUCH JUNK?
Sorry about that! I have found that these days I have a tendency to shout. There was nobody home yesterday evening to shout at, so I just mumbled all evening. First clean up was the car. It was junkyard central. Old receipts, bills, paper towels, empty plastic bottles, spoons, chewed up pieces of gum rolled up in paper (YUCK!!!), coupons, and all sorts of stuff. I deposited most of it into the kitchen counter. I have to sort thru all that soon. Then I came back inside the house and looked at my dining table. Stuff again. It totally baffles me. We don't even BUY a lot. I mean we don't even go to any stores unless we actually need something. Like food or toothpaste.
I have a theory. Before saying what the theory is, here is a little story from my childhood. We grew up in a state in India which is hot. Really, really hot. Hotter than FL. And we had no air conditioning. (Still don't). So whenever we came in from outside, a most precious commodity would be cold water from the fridge. We cannot EVER drink water straight from the tap in India. Even for cooking, all water is boiled. As for drinking water, we have a double filter and water is collected from that and then stored in the fridge. So basically, to drink cold water, someone has to catch water from the tap and store in the filter. Then the filtered water has to be collected from the filter tap and stored in bottles in the fridge. Being the nice, caring kids we were, we would always drink from the fridge, but never replace. So when poor Dad tries to get a drink, there would be nothing there. All three of us would deny being responsible for finishing the water. Dad, the ever patient one would then say: "It must be Devendran." Devendran in Hindu mythology is the head of gods and he is supposed to be a troublemaker.
So here is my theory - I am convinced that a third person secretly lives in our house. It creates all this mess.
Husband and I are innocent.
HOW DOES TWO PEOPLE ACCUMULATE SO MUCH JUNK?
Sorry about that! I have found that these days I have a tendency to shout. There was nobody home yesterday evening to shout at, so I just mumbled all evening. First clean up was the car. It was junkyard central. Old receipts, bills, paper towels, empty plastic bottles, spoons, chewed up pieces of gum rolled up in paper (YUCK!!!), coupons, and all sorts of stuff. I deposited most of it into the kitchen counter. I have to sort thru all that soon. Then I came back inside the house and looked at my dining table. Stuff again. It totally baffles me. We don't even BUY a lot. I mean we don't even go to any stores unless we actually need something. Like food or toothpaste.
I have a theory. Before saying what the theory is, here is a little story from my childhood. We grew up in a state in India which is hot. Really, really hot. Hotter than FL. And we had no air conditioning. (Still don't). So whenever we came in from outside, a most precious commodity would be cold water from the fridge. We cannot EVER drink water straight from the tap in India. Even for cooking, all water is boiled. As for drinking water, we have a double filter and water is collected from that and then stored in the fridge. So basically, to drink cold water, someone has to catch water from the tap and store in the filter. Then the filtered water has to be collected from the filter tap and stored in bottles in the fridge. Being the nice, caring kids we were, we would always drink from the fridge, but never replace. So when poor Dad tries to get a drink, there would be nothing there. All three of us would deny being responsible for finishing the water. Dad, the ever patient one would then say: "It must be Devendran." Devendran in Hindu mythology is the head of gods and he is supposed to be a troublemaker.
So here is my theory - I am convinced that a third person secretly lives in our house. It creates all this mess.
Husband and I are innocent.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Two Income Trap - Part 2
See Part 1 here
In this long-awaited (yeah, right!) post, I will address the argument about Mom being the safety net that was put forward by the authors in Two Income Trap. The basic premise is that when there is only one income, couples buy house based on that, and since mom is a safety net, if dad loses the job, mom can go into the work force until that time dad gets another job.
There are three (broadly) reasons why moms stay at home while dad goes to work.
1. Religious reasons
2. Lack of education, so no good job choices
3. Educated, but prefer to be home with the kids
I think choices 1 and 2 are self explanatory and so I am just going to focus on the 3rd choice. There is an argument that is commonly put forward for moms staying home which is that if they go out to work, the family have to pay for child care, gas and maintenance on the second car, clothes, and all the trappings that come with a second job. I recently read somewhere that the mom needs to make at least $50,000 annually to make a contribution to the family finance. It sounds reasonable since many jobs do require all of the above. So many of the families who keep Mommy home do think of this. The cost benefit analysis show that it is better financially that a Mom remains home since for some jobs it takes money for her to be in the workplace.
So let us consider such a family. Jane is reasonably well educated, has 2 kids, never worked. John has a good job which brings in $50,000. They manage the home with that. She is frugal, watches the pennies, they don't eat out, do not go for vacations. She sends Junior 1 to public school and Junior 2 who is a toddler stays home with her. Now the economy turns bad (not hard to imagine now, is it?) and dad loses the job. Now, according to the book, this is when mom steps into the work force and rescues the family until Dad finds a job. Maybe I am being naive here, but I don't think there are a lot of employers out there offering anyone a $50,000 job with no experience, is going to be there only until the husband finds a job. (which could be one month to 6 months or maybe even more) A good job is not something you walk in and out of. And it is not rocket science what happens when putting an inexperienced mom suddenly into a work situation. In majority of the cases, she cannot hack it.
So John's and Jane's situation has changed. Jane is working at store X as a a clerk. The economy which cost John his job is not kind to Jane either. That is all she got since she has no experience and is not there for the long haul. She needs new formal clothes, she can't get home until late evening, so they need child care. John has interviews to attend and jobs to apply, so he cannot look after the kids while Jane is at work. Jane is tired coming from work, and looking after children, so she has no energy to cook, clean or pinch pennies. Expenses are more, and she brings in nowhere close to what John used to bring. I don't really think there is any hyperbole in the situation that I presented. It is a very possible outcome of such a situation.
Another problem I had with the book was that it does not give really good solutions as to how to get out of the Two Income Trap, a lot of families find themselves in. The book is good reading to understand how people get into saddening life situations, but I feel it doesn't do much good for a family already there. The overwhelming feeling I got after reading the statistics that the book provided was sadness. The answer to a crisis such as Dad losing the job is not to send a Mom who has never worked before into the workplace. I don't think it will work in real life for the reasons stated above.I am not saying I have the answers. But there are some things which I believe are good tips for a couple starting out in life.
1. If both husband and wife work, buy a house with a mortgage+utilities which you can afford to pay with one income. If you cannot afford to do that, you are not financially ready to buy a house. The book touches on this about keeping your fixed expenses below 50%.
2. Live WAY below your means. It means different things to different people. But you know where you are. Save well.
3. Don't worry about what other people are making or not making or emulate their lifestyles. Look at successful people and learn what they are doing right. Take control of your OWN finances.
4. Learn about investing. E.g. A car is a depreciating asset and is not a wise investment choice.
5. Above all, don't forget the source of every blessing.
Since I cannot say it any better, I leave you with Amy's words. If you are poor, let it be becasue the Lord wills so, and not becasue of your foolish choices.
In this long-awaited (yeah, right!) post, I will address the argument about Mom being the safety net that was put forward by the authors in Two Income Trap. The basic premise is that when there is only one income, couples buy house based on that, and since mom is a safety net, if dad loses the job, mom can go into the work force until that time dad gets another job.
There are three (broadly) reasons why moms stay at home while dad goes to work.
1. Religious reasons
2. Lack of education, so no good job choices
3. Educated, but prefer to be home with the kids
I think choices 1 and 2 are self explanatory and so I am just going to focus on the 3rd choice. There is an argument that is commonly put forward for moms staying home which is that if they go out to work, the family have to pay for child care, gas and maintenance on the second car, clothes, and all the trappings that come with a second job. I recently read somewhere that the mom needs to make at least $50,000 annually to make a contribution to the family finance. It sounds reasonable since many jobs do require all of the above. So many of the families who keep Mommy home do think of this. The cost benefit analysis show that it is better financially that a Mom remains home since for some jobs it takes money for her to be in the workplace.
So let us consider such a family. Jane is reasonably well educated, has 2 kids, never worked. John has a good job which brings in $50,000. They manage the home with that. She is frugal, watches the pennies, they don't eat out, do not go for vacations. She sends Junior 1 to public school and Junior 2 who is a toddler stays home with her. Now the economy turns bad (not hard to imagine now, is it?) and dad loses the job. Now, according to the book, this is when mom steps into the work force and rescues the family until Dad finds a job. Maybe I am being naive here, but I don't think there are a lot of employers out there offering anyone a $50,000 job with no experience, is going to be there only until the husband finds a job. (which could be one month to 6 months or maybe even more) A good job is not something you walk in and out of. And it is not rocket science what happens when putting an inexperienced mom suddenly into a work situation. In majority of the cases, she cannot hack it.
So John's and Jane's situation has changed. Jane is working at store X as a a clerk. The economy which cost John his job is not kind to Jane either. That is all she got since she has no experience and is not there for the long haul. She needs new formal clothes, she can't get home until late evening, so they need child care. John has interviews to attend and jobs to apply, so he cannot look after the kids while Jane is at work. Jane is tired coming from work, and looking after children, so she has no energy to cook, clean or pinch pennies. Expenses are more, and she brings in nowhere close to what John used to bring. I don't really think there is any hyperbole in the situation that I presented. It is a very possible outcome of such a situation.
Another problem I had with the book was that it does not give really good solutions as to how to get out of the Two Income Trap, a lot of families find themselves in. The book is good reading to understand how people get into saddening life situations, but I feel it doesn't do much good for a family already there. The overwhelming feeling I got after reading the statistics that the book provided was sadness. The answer to a crisis such as Dad losing the job is not to send a Mom who has never worked before into the workplace. I don't think it will work in real life for the reasons stated above.I am not saying I have the answers. But there are some things which I believe are good tips for a couple starting out in life.
1. If both husband and wife work, buy a house with a mortgage+utilities which you can afford to pay with one income. If you cannot afford to do that, you are not financially ready to buy a house. The book touches on this about keeping your fixed expenses below 50%.
2. Live WAY below your means. It means different things to different people. But you know where you are. Save well.
3. Don't worry about what other people are making or not making or emulate their lifestyles. Look at successful people and learn what they are doing right. Take control of your OWN finances.
4. Learn about investing. E.g. A car is a depreciating asset and is not a wise investment choice.
5. Above all, don't forget the source of every blessing.
Since I cannot say it any better, I leave you with Amy's words. If you are poor, let it be becasue the Lord wills so, and not becasue of your foolish choices.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Giving Thanks
There is a lot to be thankful for as I reflect upon our life this season. Even as news from the doctor is not ideal and waiting periods seem longer, I can't help but thank the Lord for the innumerable blessings.
I was reading recently on a couple of different blogs about people complaining about their jobs and how they hate being on "someone else's" schedule and how they would rather be home etc etc. Then I got phone calls from two people who are leaving the US as they are unable to find jobs becasue of the failing economy. Listening to both aspects, I just want to take this time to express gratitude for my job. It is not the most exciting job in the world (I am not uncovering diamonds here), but it is a great job. It provides very good health insurance, which is crucial to me. Stress levels are low to moderate most of them being self induced. I learn a lot and it is fulfilling. I will be honest here, I love the fact that it enables us to do things like buy fruit irrespective of season, go on vacations and save for the future. It enables us to give to family, friends, sponsor kids and give to child care ministries.
Yes, I am very thankful to be a working woman and that the Lord provided me with this job. And I am very happy to be here until that time He reveals otherwise.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
I was reading recently on a couple of different blogs about people complaining about their jobs and how they hate being on "someone else's" schedule and how they would rather be home etc etc. Then I got phone calls from two people who are leaving the US as they are unable to find jobs becasue of the failing economy. Listening to both aspects, I just want to take this time to express gratitude for my job. It is not the most exciting job in the world (I am not uncovering diamonds here), but it is a great job. It provides very good health insurance, which is crucial to me. Stress levels are low to moderate most of them being self induced. I learn a lot and it is fulfilling. I will be honest here, I love the fact that it enables us to do things like buy fruit irrespective of season, go on vacations and save for the future. It enables us to give to family, friends, sponsor kids and give to child care ministries.
Yes, I am very thankful to be a working woman and that the Lord provided me with this job. And I am very happy to be here until that time He reveals otherwise.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Leaving on a jetplane
Travel for each others birthday has become a family tradition with us. Both of us love to travel and so it is not that hard choosing a birthday gift. And we also give something special and personal when we get back. This year we are going to Yosemite National Park. Neither of us like cities, shopping or the party scene. We both love hiking, outdoor stuff, nature. So Yosemite sounded like a perfect fit.
And then there is an awesome hike in Yosemite called the half dome hike. It is the mother lode of all hiking trails. It is a 17 mile hike and we have been training for it for the past 3 weeks. I am not very positive that I can make it, but I am willing to try it. It is very steep for the last 400 feet and we have to climb it with the aid of cables. To motivate me R said that if I workout every single day leading to the day we leave he will do all the house work until my birthday in September. And boy, was I ever motivated! And we did do that every day. Even when Aunt Flo' came for a visit. Nothing was stopping me. And he has also promised me a special gift if I manage to climb the dome. Maybe housework for the rest of the year? I don't think so. I think he already kind of regret making the current offer.
And I already lost some weight. One of the capri pants which had become very tight for me, is now loose at the waist. So it is a win-win situation. Or if you watch The Office, it is a win-win-win situation. I lose weight, do hiking, get out of housework.
I have booked a lovely B&B at Yosemite or at least it looks lovely from the description and pictures. Both of us has worked hard the past months and we are really really looking forward to this vacation. I have packed books to read and blank papers to write and are keeping the laptops at home. I plan to do some writing and just relax.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
This and That
I was not feeling good at all this weekend. Nothing spectacular, just aches and pains all over. So when you are all achy and painy what is the best thing to do?
Give the kitchen a complete overhaul of course!
So that is what I found myself doing on Saturday and some of Sunday. Took out all the pantry items, rearranged everything. Initially, I was planning to work on only the pantry closet, but ended up pretty much rearranging the whole kitchen.
I also ended up with a nice leg ache for the night, but those trifle things do not bother me when I am on an OCD roll. I don't have any pictures to show, but it looked really good if I may say so myself.
Then we went mega grocery shopping on Saturday and here (Picture will be updated shortly) is what we got for $13.15. This was the single greatest couponing accomplishment EVER. (It is a long story) So inspite of the health issues, it was a pretty productive weekend.
I am going to share about a possible change in the next few days. It is not something that I expected and I don't know how everything is going to work out long-term, but for now it is definitely going to be a change. I am excited and nervous at the same time.
And that is all the notes from the weekend.
Give the kitchen a complete overhaul of course!
So that is what I found myself doing on Saturday and some of Sunday. Took out all the pantry items, rearranged everything. Initially, I was planning to work on only the pantry closet, but ended up pretty much rearranging the whole kitchen.
I also ended up with a nice leg ache for the night, but those trifle things do not bother me when I am on an OCD roll. I don't have any pictures to show, but it looked really good if I may say so myself.
Then we went mega grocery shopping on Saturday and here (Picture will be updated shortly) is what we got for $13.15. This was the single greatest couponing accomplishment EVER. (It is a long story) So inspite of the health issues, it was a pretty productive weekend.
I am going to share about a possible change in the next few days. It is not something that I expected and I don't know how everything is going to work out long-term, but for now it is definitely going to be a change. I am excited and nervous at the same time.
And that is all the notes from the weekend.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Weekly Plan
I made a time table for the week. If I have done it once, I have done it a hundred times. It never fails to fail. I am all gung-ho Sunday night, but come Monday morning, I don't want to get up from bed. And then I manage to drag myself out and go to work and then by afternoon, my energy level increases. By evening, I am raring to go. And this is for a typical day at work, not the super crazy ones.
Can you say I am a night person? All those late nights at college will have a long term effect on your system. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Yesterday I made yet another time table for the week. I also made a menu plan and (made darling hubby) cut the necessary veggies for the week. This morning the alarm rang, I didn't get up on time and failed the plan already. I got a little late, but I was determined to not let it deter me from the rest. By some miraculous feat, I left home when I was supposed to. And I am hopeful about the rest of the week.
Looks like I am also incorrigibly optimistic as well.
I am going to do what I have never done before here. Share my weekly plan and menu. In the hopes that it will encourage me to stay on course.
Menu for this week
Sunday: Moong dal, Spinach, Cabbage
Monday: Nan, Gobi Manchurian (It is a cauliflower dish)
Tuesday: Aviyal, Beans
Wednesday: Homemade veggie noodles
Thursday: Padavalnga, Paalak Dal, Carrot halwa (dessert)
Friday: Paalappam, Vegetable Stew
It is okay if you did not understand half of what the dishes in my menu are. All are vegetarian dishes. Husband is a vegetarian and I very rarely cook non-vegetarian.
And this is my weekly plan.
Weekdays (except Wednesdays)
7:45-7:50 Wake up, brush
7:50-8:00 Make Tea, Water Plants
8:00-8:15 Light stretching
8:15-8:30 Get ready
8:30 Leave for work
6:00-7:00 Workout
7:00-7:30 Cooking
7:30-8:00 Cleaning, bath
8:00 Dinner
8:00-11:00 Reading, free time, whatever
Can you say I am a night person? All those late nights at college will have a long term effect on your system. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Yesterday I made yet another time table for the week. I also made a menu plan and (made darling hubby) cut the necessary veggies for the week. This morning the alarm rang, I didn't get up on time and failed the plan already. I got a little late, but I was determined to not let it deter me from the rest. By some miraculous feat, I left home when I was supposed to. And I am hopeful about the rest of the week.
Looks like I am also incorrigibly optimistic as well.
I am going to do what I have never done before here. Share my weekly plan and menu. In the hopes that it will encourage me to stay on course.
Menu for this week
Sunday: Moong dal, Spinach, Cabbage
Monday: Nan, Gobi Manchurian (It is a cauliflower dish)
Tuesday: Aviyal, Beans
Wednesday: Homemade veggie noodles
Thursday: Padavalnga, Paalak Dal, Carrot halwa (dessert)
Friday: Paalappam, Vegetable Stew
It is okay if you did not understand half of what the dishes in my menu are. All are vegetarian dishes. Husband is a vegetarian and I very rarely cook non-vegetarian.
And this is my weekly plan.
Weekdays (except Wednesdays)
7:45-7:50 Wake up, brush
7:50-8:00 Make Tea, Water Plants
8:00-8:15 Light stretching
8:15-8:30 Get ready
8:30 Leave for work
6:00-7:00 Workout
7:00-7:30 Cooking
7:30-8:00 Cleaning, bath
8:00 Dinner
8:00-11:00 Reading, free time, whatever
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Golden Week
The thing about both of us working is that there are some weeks where both of us are super busy and I am incapable of doing anything more than coming home and doing the bare minimum before plopping down on the sofa. Those days are rare though. I make it a point never to bring work home. I might stay late to make sure that my work gets done, but I won't come home and continue working. I might sit in front of the TV though, but I kind of like the idea of a clear distinction between work and home. Which is why I could never work from home. But I digress.
Most times R is way more busy than I am. He manages a team and rarely has relaxing days. But last week was different. I was swamped with work while his client took a week break making it almost a holiday week for him. Every day we went to work together. He dropped me off at work and then went to the Starbucks to work on other stuff. He would pick me up at lunch time and we would got to the park and have home-packed lunch together. And then we would drive back home late in the evening together.
I had a stressful work week. I was working on a brand new project. I was going where no man or woman in our company had gone before. In an area where I had no experience at all. My panic level was at an all time high. R is my biggest de-stresser. He gets these panic calls and he talks me through it and calms me down. So it was an incredible blessing to have him free when I needed him the most. One evening we walked around in the mall, bought Godiva chocolates (heavenly, even for a non-chocolate lover like me) and watched a movie. We ate out every evening for the 5 days. We did not eat anywhere fancy just shared one Chipotle bol. We went to Borders and pored over books on Europe travel which we are hoping to do this summer. And later into the evening we walked hand in hand on the floating bridge in the park. We talked about our plans and dreams for the future. We sat on the bench, watched the birds on the water and had beautiful silences together. As Anne says in one of the Green Gables series, I cannot improve it with imagination even.
Monday, February 04, 2008
Notes from the weekend
I think it is terrible that I start almost every post by saying that I haven't been posting awhile. I had a busy weekend what with a friend visiting from Tampa and helping husband with his work stuff.
And, I got a haircut.
I went with a friend from church. After church, we had lunch together at an Indian restaurant and then we went to get us both the haircut. There was a 2 hour wait, so we drove around a bit and came back to wait some more. While waiting, we talked about how God led the Israelites through the desert and tighty whities.
I am sure there is a connection somewhere between the two topics. Also I am pretty confident that the guy who sat next to us will need therapy.
Hubby got tired of waiting for me and he went off to sleep in a pwincess bed with a pwincess comforter surrounded by teddy bears on my friends' daughter's bed while they played outside. Come to think of it, he might need therapy too.
We love having people over, that is one sure fire way to get the house clean. And guess what? I have done 37 things out of my list of 74. That is 50%. I am understandably proud. Also I did some stuff which were not on the list. I think I got my groove back.
And, I got a haircut.
I went with a friend from church. After church, we had lunch together at an Indian restaurant and then we went to get us both the haircut. There was a 2 hour wait, so we drove around a bit and came back to wait some more. While waiting, we talked about how God led the Israelites through the desert and tighty whities.
I am sure there is a connection somewhere between the two topics. Also I am pretty confident that the guy who sat next to us will need therapy.
Hubby got tired of waiting for me and he went off to sleep in a pwincess bed with a pwincess comforter surrounded by teddy bears on my friends' daughter's bed while they played outside. Come to think of it, he might need therapy too.
We love having people over, that is one sure fire way to get the house clean. And guess what? I have done 37 things out of my list of 74. That is 50%. I am understandably proud. Also I did some stuff which were not on the list. I think I got my groove back.
Yeah baby.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
The List
For a while now- actually since I came back- I have the vague feeling that there is a lot of stuff to do around the house and I have been unable to do anything. I am exhausted after coming back from work and it takes all of my energies to cook something. When you have a two week vacation of only eating and sleeping, you pay a price. That is the law. I am paying the price in 3 extra inches around the waistline and almost hitting a 100 on the scale for the first time in my life. Not to mention the general lassitude.
Anyway since I am a listaholic (I have never heard this word before. I think I just made it up. Has any one heard this one anywhere?) I thought I would make a list to get myself in the groove of things. So I took a notepad and started listing all of things I had to do in and around the house. I came up with 59 things. I am not kidding at all. When I started writing, it felt like my pen got a life of itself and started scribbling down thing after thing.
The fun part is that my list has items like fold laundry, clean kitchen etc. which I cannot ever essentially cross out unless we start eating out completely and throw away clothes after wearing them once or twice. I am guessing I might have to do the laundry this week from my mile long list. Because even though he works from home, husband insists that he wants to wear something. And dearest of husbands, he doesn't ask for much.
My plan was to make a list of things I could do this week. But it looks like I will be done with this list some time at the end of 2009.
You could check back with me then.
Anyway since I am a listaholic (I have never heard this word before. I think I just made it up. Has any one heard this one anywhere?) I thought I would make a list to get myself in the groove of things. So I took a notepad and started listing all of things I had to do in and around the house. I came up with 59 things. I am not kidding at all. When I started writing, it felt like my pen got a life of itself and started scribbling down thing after thing.
The fun part is that my list has items like fold laundry, clean kitchen etc. which I cannot ever essentially cross out unless we start eating out completely and throw away clothes after wearing them once or twice. I am guessing I might have to do the laundry this week from my mile long list. Because even though he works from home, husband insists that he wants to wear something. And dearest of husbands, he doesn't ask for much.
My plan was to make a list of things I could do this week. But it looks like I will be done with this list some time at the end of 2009.
You could check back with me then.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
You know you are sick...
When after drinking warm water you go Ahhh.... like it is hot chocolate or something
It is the worst time to get sick although I am not sure if there is a good time to get sick anyway. I don't have any life threatening illness, only a mild touch of flu. I have 3 current projects at work, my in-laws are visiting, so busy at home and I feel too sick to do it all. I took half day off from work, ended up cooking at home, and I think it is better to be at work. At least there are no fumes.
I have STILL NOT done most of the Christmas shopping. I am getting panicky at the thought now. The only time we can take the parents out are in the evenings and weekends (since both of us work) and so I have no time for shopping. (We only have one car). The worst part is I don't even know what to get for most people. Then there is a birthday and our 2nd wedding anniversary coming up. To crown it all, I am going on a 3 week vacation to India on the 26th and I have to pack and get ready for that. We are going for a 4 day trip as well- which I have to make reservations for including swimming with dolphins, parasailing, hot-air ballooning and what not. And we come back I have a 24 hour plane ride starting the next day. I have to get the house ready and make food for 15 people (including kids) tomorrow. And also I have to go shopping for the ingredients.
And did I mention I was sick?
Just writing it all out, I feel another headache coming.
I think I am just a wee bit overwhelmed.
It is the worst time to get sick although I am not sure if there is a good time to get sick anyway. I don't have any life threatening illness, only a mild touch of flu. I have 3 current projects at work, my in-laws are visiting, so busy at home and I feel too sick to do it all. I took half day off from work, ended up cooking at home, and I think it is better to be at work. At least there are no fumes.
I have STILL NOT done most of the Christmas shopping. I am getting panicky at the thought now. The only time we can take the parents out are in the evenings and weekends (since both of us work) and so I have no time for shopping. (We only have one car). The worst part is I don't even know what to get for most people. Then there is a birthday and our 2nd wedding anniversary coming up. To crown it all, I am going on a 3 week vacation to India on the 26th and I have to pack and get ready for that. We are going for a 4 day trip as well- which I have to make reservations for including swimming with dolphins, parasailing, hot-air ballooning and what not. And we come back I have a 24 hour plane ride starting the next day. I have to get the house ready and make food for 15 people (including kids) tomorrow. And also I have to go shopping for the ingredients.
And did I mention I was sick?
Just writing it all out, I feel another headache coming.
I think I am just a wee bit overwhelmed.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Adirondacks
I have been neglecting my blog for a long time now. I have one week worth of blog visiting to do as well. I was up in the Adirondacks Mountains
It was singularly the best place I have ever stayed in my life so far. We had training in the morning, the afternoons we could do what we wanted. Evenings there was an exercise of what we had learned and after dinner at 6:30 we were free birds. The basement of the cottage had pool, ping-pong and foosball and we could do as we pleased. There were three homemade meals a day and cocktail reception in the evenings. Here is the great room where we had the training.
There was a great group up there and it was a great time for networking as well. I cannot even start to describe the beauty of the place. This was the view from my window.
And they were outside most of the time.
It snowed all night Wednesday and I woke up Thursday morning to this.
The one drawback of the place was that it was in so remote a place that I was virtually incommunicato. It was horrible not being able to talk to R 5 times a day. But there was wireless and so we got to email each other every day.
It was a training camp, but it was also a lovely break from the daily routine. No cooking, cleaning and driving. My flight back was on Friday and I reached Orlando Friday night. And the best part of the whole thing? Seeing hubby back on Friday. I got a chance to get recharged, learn some important work skills and appreciate yet again how blessed I am.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
All pain, no gain
When people ask my husband and I if we are “trying” to have kids, I always assumed that it was because it was evident that I love kids and the fact that my husband and I have been married “long enough.” But yesterday morning, I realized that there could be an entirely different reason.
My stomach!!! It keeps increasing in girth every day. And there is not a whole lot I can do about it. It is hereditary-a gift from my mother. Thanks Mamma!
But for what it was worth, I darkened the door of a gym after a long time. I did stomach exercise, stretching, aerobic and even the monkey bar. I felt good, on top of the world. I was wondering why on earth I don’t do this every day. Everything went well until I got up today. Now I cannot lift my arms, all that’s there in me to hurt is hurting. And there is not a mite of change in my stomach.
R says I have to do at least 250 repetitions of the stomach exercise every day for a month to make any difference. I am thinking he might have told me that he does not love me anymore and doesn’t care if I live or die.
250 REPETITIONS EVERY DAY? FOR ONE MONTH?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???
How much do you do? Do you have any suggestions to reduce the stomach inches? Please don’t ask me to reduce eating as that would be a waste of words. I love my food. I do not eat chocolates or meat much at all and wheat products-none at all. I do not easily put on a lot of weight, its just my stomach which gets bigger. Weird, isn't it?
Friday, August 24, 2007
Hasta La Vista, TV
Changes are afoot here at our home. We have put a moratorium on the television for one week. I use the term television loosely and it includes all media entertainment. Since Monday we have not turned the TV on, and boy! what a difference!! We had dinner at the table (first time by ourselves, I am pretty sure!), we looked at each other and talked as opposed to eyes glued to the screen. We were both relaxed after a day at work. We got time to exercise, AND the curtains which have been sitting for 3 months waiting to be put up were finally up.
Truly, my cup runneth over.
I should probably have listened to hubby when he suggested before we got married that we should never buy a TV in our house. Neither of us had one before. But then I was by myself for 7 months after we got married, and I could not at that point stomach the idea of not having a TV. It seemed a little unnatural to me. I wanted some sounds about the house. Also I had all these gift cards to Best Buy from the wedding that I felt I had to spend.
We are seriously thinking about extending the moratorium to something more permanent. Like TV only for weekends or something. Both of us are really enjoying this TV free week. We get to read more, sleep earlier and do more productive things.
Try it, if you are up to it. It makes a big difference!!
Truly, my cup runneth over.
I should probably have listened to hubby when he suggested before we got married that we should never buy a TV in our house. Neither of us had one before. But then I was by myself for 7 months after we got married, and I could not at that point stomach the idea of not having a TV. It seemed a little unnatural to me. I wanted some sounds about the house. Also I had all these gift cards to Best Buy from the wedding that I felt I had to spend.
We are seriously thinking about extending the moratorium to something more permanent. Like TV only for weekends or something. Both of us are really enjoying this TV free week. We get to read more, sleep earlier and do more productive things.
Try it, if you are up to it. It makes a big difference!!
Thursday, August 02, 2007
The balancing act
I was thinking for a while about writing something along the lines of encouraging fellow working women. I do love my job and home, but sometimes it is like walking on a trapeze trying to balance everything. And I do not even have children. I am not sure what I would do once we have a family, maybe I will become a SAHM. I do not know that now.
Anyway, the point is at this season of my life I am doing both and there are days when I have struggled to keep it all together. After coming from work, I would look into the fridge and spend 15 minutes figuring out what to make. And that saps up most of my energy. I cannot stomach the idea of having frozen, ready to eat store bought food at the end of a work day. I have to have a traditional Indian meal.
And let me tell you dear friends, that is no joke. It takes quite a bit of preparation and the cleaning up after that is not pretty. Recently, I developed a wheat allergy and so I can only have rice/corn products. That has added to the challenge of cooking quite a bit. Hubby likes to have wheat included in the menu once in a while and I end up cooking several different things a day. And all this cooking and cleaning makes me too exhausted to do anything else.
All this to give you a background. I for one, am a Christian who do not believe that all women who have a career are apostate sinners and pro-abortion feminists.
Now to answer the question. How to manage both? Yesterday I came across this post by Shalee. She has done a great job laying out some pertinent guidelines. I encourage y'all to go and read it. Since she has touched on all the aspects I could think of, I thought I would just add a few practical things that I do to keep me on track.
I have still not achieved perfection. And I have no hopes of ever doing that. And that is okay.
Anyway, the point is at this season of my life I am doing both and there are days when I have struggled to keep it all together. After coming from work, I would look into the fridge and spend 15 minutes figuring out what to make. And that saps up most of my energy. I cannot stomach the idea of having frozen, ready to eat store bought food at the end of a work day. I have to have a traditional Indian meal.
And let me tell you dear friends, that is no joke. It takes quite a bit of preparation and the cleaning up after that is not pretty. Recently, I developed a wheat allergy and so I can only have rice/corn products. That has added to the challenge of cooking quite a bit. Hubby likes to have wheat included in the menu once in a while and I end up cooking several different things a day. And all this cooking and cleaning makes me too exhausted to do anything else.
All this to give you a background. I for one, am a Christian who do not believe that all women who have a career are apostate sinners and pro-abortion feminists.
Now to answer the question. How to manage both? Yesterday I came across this post by Shalee. She has done a great job laying out some pertinent guidelines. I encourage y'all to go and read it. Since she has touched on all the aspects I could think of, I thought I would just add a few practical things that I do to keep me on track.
- I now have a two week menu list which I prepare during lunch hour at work. For me, it is a great help since I can save the 15 minute staring into the fridge. This helps me to include a balanced diet for both of us without making the same things day after day. Also, this way I do not have to find out at the last minute that I am out of something.
- And then we eat out 3 times a week :D
- I get groceries done on a weekday on my way back from work
- The night we eat out is usually not dine out but take home. Those days I get caught up with cleaning since there is no kitchen to clean. It is one of my failings/good points depending on the way you look at it. Whatever else is not clean, a dirty kitchen depresses me no end. So I make sure that is clean at the end of the night.
- I read in all these blogs about everyone doing laundry daily or every other day. I only do it on Saturday. That works fine for us. And once the clothes are done, I dump all the dry clothes into our bed. That way I can make sure that all the clothes are folded and put away before we sleep. Otherwise, we might start wearing from the laundry basket itself!
- My husband is the official veggie cutter in the family. Since hubby is a vegetarian, we do a lot of veggie cutting in the house. He does such a good job that I do not interfere with it. We get caught up with each others day during this time and we love this time together.
- In a new effort to be efficient, I am going to try something different for one week. Since I already know what I am going to cook for the week, I am planning on cutting all the required veggies at one shot during the weekend (when we are watching TV or something). That way my weekday workload will be drastically reduced.
- If for some reason I have not gotten caught up with the cleaning, we hire someone to do the entire cleaning of the house. It is totally worth it for us. And it is not all that often we do that.
I have still not achieved perfection. And I have no hopes of ever doing that. And that is okay.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)