Today was Neil's 9 month appointment. He is doing well, prasie God. Today morning he had one egg and 2 ounces of squash sweet poato mix. He was quite happy and we set off to the doctor's office. We got there and the receptionist said: "You still don't have insurance, right?" I told her that we always had insurance and all the information is in their system. She then pulled up our records and said she was sorry and that she had it on file blah blah and our copayment is $10. I was surprised because so far all the copayments had been close to $70. She had pulled up our old insurance. This scenario happens every time. I love our pediatrician, but the staff is really incompetent. Finally she managed to pull up the information and we ended up not having to pay anything as it was a well visit.
I was waiting in the room for the doctor when suddenly without warning, Neil threw up all over then blanket covering him. He has GER and I thought it was the perfect way to show the doctor this is how it was most days for us. Anyway, the doctor came in and we were talking at that time, Neil again vomited all over the table, on me, and himself. He started crying loudly at would not lie down for us to clean him up or change his diaper. He was sobbing for so long and would not be comforted even after I picked him up. The doctor hurriedly examined him and he was yelling throughout. It really upset me too. He is a happy baby and tolerates pain very well and so I knew that something was bothering him a lot. He was also very sleepy by that point. So I fed him a little and he then he threw that up as well. Finally, he went to sleep and I had thought by this point that we would go back and come another day for his shots. I figured since the shots were part of his well visit, I wouldn't have to pay anything to have it administered. I confirmed with the head nurse and she said we can come back and get it next Tuesday free of charge. So I was making my one year appointment, and that nurse said I can come back and get it, but we will have to pay out of pocket for that.
He had completely calmed down by then and was in my arms half asleep. With all that was going on, I was getting irritated at this point, and told her that I will go ahead and get him the shots then. I know my son and I knew that at this point he would be okay with it. We are going to India in a couple of months and we were behind on the shots, plus we had to make another nurse visit to catch up before his 1year well visit. I thought about all this and decided to go ahead. The head nurse sighed colossaly as if I was a big troublemaker and a horible mommy to boot for giving him his shots when he was upset. Anyway, as I had thought, he cried for 2 seconds when the needle went in and when I picked him up, he turned around and went back to sleep. We got home around 11:45 without incident and he has been sleeping since.
I am not giving him any more solids today, but am just going to give him milk and see how he does. I am drained by the morning happenings. Not just the vomiting, but also the nurses' attitude. I think he is waking up now and is making happy sounds. My sweet baby. It has been hard with his reflux problems. And it is harder as a mom to see your child suffering and being unable to comfort or Do much to ease it. Also, it is really hard to see other people making judgements on informed decisions we make for our baby.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Nine Months
Dear Neil,
You are 9 months old today! You have been outside my tummy for as long as you were inside!! In 3 months, you will be a year old. Where has the time gone? Your dad and I were looking at some of your older pictures and laughing and sighing. The sighing would be me, your dad can't wait for you to be 3 years old.
Look at this one. All the baby fat!!!
How much you have changed. And I know you will keep changing every day.
What are you upto now?
1) Today was as if you changed overnight. Till yesterday, you were content to sit at least for a few minutes and play with your toys. Today, as soon as I put you on the floor, you just started crawling like a man on a mission. The mission being our slippers, magazines under the table, laptop wires, and everything you could get your paws on. Nothing is safe in the house anymore! Crawling is not with your body completely off the floor, but is not scooting either. It is quite cute to see.
2) You had your first airplane ride to Portland, OR. That is where our family began. We took you to the place your dad and I got married, and you met a lot of friends there. You did great on the flight and it was a long flight too! It was such fun traveling with you. We had a bit of a misadventure coming back, but it was all fine and you were such a trooper through it all. It is a good thing because you are born into a family who loves to travel and God willing, there will be a lot of traveling in the future for you continuing with a trip to DC-NY followed by a 24 hour trip to India in July.
3) You have your third tooth (first upper) coming in. Your bottom two are nice and big now and it is so cute to see you smile.
4) You eat your food like the little man you are. You do not take kindly to store bought food since I started cooking for you. This was a struggle when we were in Portland and I am so glad that you got back to eating well again.
5) You still don't sleep through the night and gets up at least once.
6) You haven't quite mastered the pincer grasp yet and so the couple of times that I tried to feed you finger foods didn't go over very well.
7) Shopping is still a no no, but walks are great.
8) Unless you are sleepy or hurt, you don't like to sit and cuddle as much. You squirm away and want to explore everything. You have such a lot of energy! I wish I had half as much!!!
9)Maybe because you are so mobile, you are not putting on as much weight, but you seem to be growing well. We are very thankful for that.
You bring so much joy to us. At the end of the day, I sometimes lay in bed and think about how much you have added to our lives with your sweet and vivid personality. It is hard for me to think of the time when you were not around. It is so wonderful to watch you grow and interact with the world around you and see your personality come out.
I love you.
Mama
You are 9 months old today! You have been outside my tummy for as long as you were inside!! In 3 months, you will be a year old. Where has the time gone? Your dad and I were looking at some of your older pictures and laughing and sighing. The sighing would be me, your dad can't wait for you to be 3 years old.
Look at this one. All the baby fat!!!
How much you have changed. And I know you will keep changing every day.
What are you upto now?
1) Today was as if you changed overnight. Till yesterday, you were content to sit at least for a few minutes and play with your toys. Today, as soon as I put you on the floor, you just started crawling like a man on a mission. The mission being our slippers, magazines under the table, laptop wires, and everything you could get your paws on. Nothing is safe in the house anymore! Crawling is not with your body completely off the floor, but is not scooting either. It is quite cute to see.
2) You had your first airplane ride to Portland, OR. That is where our family began. We took you to the place your dad and I got married, and you met a lot of friends there. You did great on the flight and it was a long flight too! It was such fun traveling with you. We had a bit of a misadventure coming back, but it was all fine and you were such a trooper through it all. It is a good thing because you are born into a family who loves to travel and God willing, there will be a lot of traveling in the future for you continuing with a trip to DC-NY followed by a 24 hour trip to India in July.
3) You have your third tooth (first upper) coming in. Your bottom two are nice and big now and it is so cute to see you smile.
4) You eat your food like the little man you are. You do not take kindly to store bought food since I started cooking for you. This was a struggle when we were in Portland and I am so glad that you got back to eating well again.
5) You still don't sleep through the night and gets up at least once.
6) You haven't quite mastered the pincer grasp yet and so the couple of times that I tried to feed you finger foods didn't go over very well.
7) Shopping is still a no no, but walks are great.
8) Unless you are sleepy or hurt, you don't like to sit and cuddle as much. You squirm away and want to explore everything. You have such a lot of energy! I wish I had half as much!!!
9)Maybe because you are so mobile, you are not putting on as much weight, but you seem to be growing well. We are very thankful for that.
You bring so much joy to us. At the end of the day, I sometimes lay in bed and think about how much you have added to our lives with your sweet and vivid personality. It is hard for me to think of the time when you were not around. It is so wonderful to watch you grow and interact with the world around you and see your personality come out.
I love you.
Mama
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Mother's Day Drama Part 1
I had the most unbelievable Mother's day ever. My first one with the baby OUTSIDE the tummy. It should have been a lot better. Even if you are an occassional reader of the blog and skip through some posts, you should read this. Worse travel stories would be few and far between.
We had a "straight flight" form Portland, OR to Orlando. I put that in quotes because there was a stop over at Salt Lake City, UT. To begin at the beginning, our flight from Portland was at 1:30 pm (or so I thought) and so we left at 11:30 am. R was working till the last minute and so I had to load the stuff, baby, and make sure that nothing was left behind. Thankfully we made it to the airport at 12:10 pm with overflowing check in, carry on and diaper bag. R went with the baby to return the rental car and and I lugged in the heavy check in suitcase lifted it to weigh it. It was 2 lb overweight, they let it go anyway. Then again I had to lug it to the X ray machine and then finally it was on its way. The TSA asked me if the suitcase is locked and I said it is not and there is only a bunch of dirty baby laundry. They all smiled. So after all the lugging and pulling (my biceps and triceps have never looked better!) I stopped for a minute to catch my breath and take a look at the boarding pass. It was 12:40 by then and that is when I saw that our flight was NOT at 1:30, but it was 1:03. So it is not just that I had lost some brain cells with the delivery, I had developed mild dyslexia too. So I called R frantically and he said they are on the way. I walked to the security and since I had both the boarding passes, I did not want to check in and then come back out to give R his. Finally he came and we all got in. They took all the formula and baby food to check for explosives. Becasue that is what I feed him. Although one would wonder if they saw his diaper 3 hours later. So finally we were on our way with our non explosive baby food and formula and boarded the plane. And the aircraft door closed behind us. One would wonder at the sanity of this kind of traveling especially with a baby in tow. But this is our life, and I seem unable to change any of this. It is all written in the stars, it is destiny, or maybe it is that we should just get out of the house earlier and pack less.
We had 3 seats to ourselves as the person next to us didn't show up. Or maybe they did and saw a cranky baby and asked for a reassignment of the seat. I was very pleased though. Neil was okay as soon as I fed him some milk. He is just sweet like that. The plane landed at SLC and we figured we will get out and get a bite to eat and change Neil's diaper. After the diaper change, we headed for something to eat. Our continuing flight was at 5 pm. My phone said 3:15 and I figured there was time enough to eat. We got Sbarros and was almost done eating when I noticed a bright green patch on my bright white shirt. Neil had been sitting on the high chair, but I had picked him up and was holding him since he had started crying. Well, when I checked him, I found that he had the most explosive diaper EVER and had got it on me, himself, his hands, both of our clothes and oh my word, it was a disgusting mess.
So we walked to the nearest family restroom as there was no way I could clean both of us on my own. There was someone inside, and we waited. And waited. And waited. No one was coming out. I figured it was a large family with lot of kids and all of them wanted to go potty or something. I was getting impatient by the minute and kept ringing the bell. After 15 minutes (an eternity) later, the door opened. AND A SINGLE GUY WALKED OUT. I was speechless. I would have said something, but I really was speechless. Maybe there is a charitable explanation for a single guy using a FAMILY restroom, but I can't think of any. If you do, please shout out in the comments. We got inside and started cleaning up. We ran out of wipes in the end (we must have used at least 15), but we made do with paper towels in the end. By the time he was clean anyway. I cleaned myself as best as I could and took off my white shirt. Thankfully, I had a white tank top underneath and I figured that would do until I get to the carry on in the plane where I could find myself another top.
Well, the drama was just starting.
To be continued tomorrow.
We had a "straight flight" form Portland, OR to Orlando. I put that in quotes because there was a stop over at Salt Lake City, UT. To begin at the beginning, our flight from Portland was at 1:30 pm (or so I thought) and so we left at 11:30 am. R was working till the last minute and so I had to load the stuff, baby, and make sure that nothing was left behind. Thankfully we made it to the airport at 12:10 pm with overflowing check in, carry on and diaper bag. R went with the baby to return the rental car and and I lugged in the heavy check in suitcase lifted it to weigh it. It was 2 lb overweight, they let it go anyway. Then again I had to lug it to the X ray machine and then finally it was on its way. The TSA asked me if the suitcase is locked and I said it is not and there is only a bunch of dirty baby laundry. They all smiled. So after all the lugging and pulling (my biceps and triceps have never looked better!) I stopped for a minute to catch my breath and take a look at the boarding pass. It was 12:40 by then and that is when I saw that our flight was NOT at 1:30, but it was 1:03. So it is not just that I had lost some brain cells with the delivery, I had developed mild dyslexia too. So I called R frantically and he said they are on the way. I walked to the security and since I had both the boarding passes, I did not want to check in and then come back out to give R his. Finally he came and we all got in. They took all the formula and baby food to check for explosives. Becasue that is what I feed him. Although one would wonder if they saw his diaper 3 hours later. So finally we were on our way with our non explosive baby food and formula and boarded the plane. And the aircraft door closed behind us. One would wonder at the sanity of this kind of traveling especially with a baby in tow. But this is our life, and I seem unable to change any of this. It is all written in the stars, it is destiny, or maybe it is that we should just get out of the house earlier and pack less.
We had 3 seats to ourselves as the person next to us didn't show up. Or maybe they did and saw a cranky baby and asked for a reassignment of the seat. I was very pleased though. Neil was okay as soon as I fed him some milk. He is just sweet like that. The plane landed at SLC and we figured we will get out and get a bite to eat and change Neil's diaper. After the diaper change, we headed for something to eat. Our continuing flight was at 5 pm. My phone said 3:15 and I figured there was time enough to eat. We got Sbarros and was almost done eating when I noticed a bright green patch on my bright white shirt. Neil had been sitting on the high chair, but I had picked him up and was holding him since he had started crying. Well, when I checked him, I found that he had the most explosive diaper EVER and had got it on me, himself, his hands, both of our clothes and oh my word, it was a disgusting mess.
So we walked to the nearest family restroom as there was no way I could clean both of us on my own. There was someone inside, and we waited. And waited. And waited. No one was coming out. I figured it was a large family with lot of kids and all of them wanted to go potty or something. I was getting impatient by the minute and kept ringing the bell. After 15 minutes (an eternity) later, the door opened. AND A SINGLE GUY WALKED OUT. I was speechless. I would have said something, but I really was speechless. Maybe there is a charitable explanation for a single guy using a FAMILY restroom, but I can't think of any. If you do, please shout out in the comments. We got inside and started cleaning up. We ran out of wipes in the end (we must have used at least 15), but we made do with paper towels in the end. By the time he was clean anyway. I cleaned myself as best as I could and took off my white shirt. Thankfully, I had a white tank top underneath and I figured that would do until I get to the carry on in the plane where I could find myself another top.
Well, the drama was just starting.
To be continued tomorrow.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Fun with Paper
Hey!!! Looks like some paper I can get into. Let me scoot over there. And Mommy is not watching.
It is SO FUN to tear it up.
Now to eat it.
Ohhh! There is mommy with the camera. Let me cover my face so she won't see me.
Please don't scold me. I wasn't doing anything at all.
It is SO FUN to tear it up.
Now to eat it.
Ohhh! There is mommy with the camera. Let me cover my face so she won't see me.
Please don't scold me. I wasn't doing anything at all.
Friday, May 07, 2010
Naming of Neil
If you are coming by from Kelly's Korner, welcome
I had always wanted to post about naming Neil. When I was pregnant, I had a girl name all picked out. I really had no idea what I would name a boy. We had some criteria. One was I wanted a name with a meaning something along the lines of God gave, answered prayer, gift from God etc. Another criteria we both had was the name needed to be Indo-Western. Since we are Indians, we did not want a completely western name which our family back home could in no way identify. These days a lot of my family does put names like that for their kids, but this was what we wished. On the other hand, we did not want to put a completely Indian name that no one here (including myself) could say. Say Dhanangjaya - for my life, I can't say this name. :) and I am betting most of you can't either.
Nathaniel was on my list for a name as it means "Gift of God" Although I liked it, it wasn't quite right for a whole name for us. At that time, my friend visited me and she suggested Neel. Neel in my language means the color Blue. At that moment inspiration struck and I started liking a variation of that - Niel (short for Nathaniel). I looked up Niel at babycenter.com and guess what I found? "Gift of God" So Niel it was. We never quite decided on a middle name until I gave birth.
My parents prayed for me to get pregnant and I was getting frustrated with all the delays and waiting. With all the issues I was facing, combined with the doctors verdict I had all but given up hopes of being a mom by October 2008. Then one day my dad called me and said that while he was praying he got a very strong sense that I am going to be pregnant before 2008 drew to a close. I laughed like Sarah (maybe I should have named him Issac!) becasue did not the doctor say that it was not going to happen given all the circumstances? But my dad had heard from the Great Physician. After all the failed treatments, I got pregnant on our own in November. We found out on our fourth wedding anniversary, December 24th. And when I talked to my dad he reminded me of God's faithfulness and also told me that I was going to have a boy. Way before the boy/girl parts were formed in my womb even.
When the ultrasound revealed a boy, I guess I knew in the back of my mind that I wanted hid middle name to be my dad's name, but I never consciously thought about it. His last name was going to be my husband's family name so he gets that legacy from there. Also, although I wanted him to be Niel, we figured that would create a lot of confusion with the spelling, so we named him Neil. To me Neil or Niel he is God's gift to us. So anyway that is how he ended up with
Neil Kuruvilla *Last Name*
I had always wanted to post about naming Neil. When I was pregnant, I had a girl name all picked out. I really had no idea what I would name a boy. We had some criteria. One was I wanted a name with a meaning something along the lines of God gave, answered prayer, gift from God etc. Another criteria we both had was the name needed to be Indo-Western. Since we are Indians, we did not want a completely western name which our family back home could in no way identify. These days a lot of my family does put names like that for their kids, but this was what we wished. On the other hand, we did not want to put a completely Indian name that no one here (including myself) could say. Say Dhanangjaya - for my life, I can't say this name. :) and I am betting most of you can't either.
Nathaniel was on my list for a name as it means "Gift of God" Although I liked it, it wasn't quite right for a whole name for us. At that time, my friend visited me and she suggested Neel. Neel in my language means the color Blue. At that moment inspiration struck and I started liking a variation of that - Niel (short for Nathaniel). I looked up Niel at babycenter.com and guess what I found? "Gift of God" So Niel it was. We never quite decided on a middle name until I gave birth.
My parents prayed for me to get pregnant and I was getting frustrated with all the delays and waiting. With all the issues I was facing, combined with the doctors verdict I had all but given up hopes of being a mom by October 2008. Then one day my dad called me and said that while he was praying he got a very strong sense that I am going to be pregnant before 2008 drew to a close. I laughed like Sarah (maybe I should have named him Issac!) becasue did not the doctor say that it was not going to happen given all the circumstances? But my dad had heard from the Great Physician. After all the failed treatments, I got pregnant on our own in November. We found out on our fourth wedding anniversary, December 24th. And when I talked to my dad he reminded me of God's faithfulness and also told me that I was going to have a boy. Way before the boy/girl parts were formed in my womb even.
When the ultrasound revealed a boy, I guess I knew in the back of my mind that I wanted hid middle name to be my dad's name, but I never consciously thought about it. His last name was going to be my husband's family name so he gets that legacy from there. Also, although I wanted him to be Niel, we figured that would create a lot of confusion with the spelling, so we named him Neil. To me Neil or Niel he is God's gift to us. So anyway that is how he ended up with
Neil Kuruvilla *Last Name*
Motherhood
Motherhood is sacrifice
The sleepless nights, the housework, for most an outside job as well, the constant laundry, wiping bottoms, noses, doctors visit, stopping having a life of your own and putting plans on hold while they are very young, the sicknesses. All of this with no pay. No one realizes while there is food, clean underwear, timely paid bills, maintenance done and everything is going well. When things are going well, mom is invisible. All the little things that hold the home together is unrecognized by everyone for the most part.
Motherhood is humiliating
When your child toots in front of others, burps like a frat boy in public, when there is poop in your outfit because the diaper leaked, when you walk around with spit up covered clothes, when you are in the car just covered in a blanket because your child vomited all over you.
Motherhood is humbling
All the big statements you made prebaby, crumbling right before your eyes. You feel like a jerk for making judgements on things you had no idea about. You eat a lot of crow and humbly pray to God for forgiveness. When you judged women out with their 1 week old babies and then you find yourself sitting in a restaurant with your 5 day old, that is humbling.
Motherhood makes you grow up
You have to be so much better than you ever thought you could be. Selfishness is not an option. When you think you don't have anymore to give, then you give some more. When you haven't slept more than 5 hours in the past week and you are sick yourself but then you again get up at 3 in the morning to soothe a crying baby, you are officially grown up.
Motherhood is rewarding
The first smile, calling mama, morning snuggles, hugs around the neck, searching you out in a crowd. And then there is the privilege to nurture a child, have him look up to you, and pray for him his entire life.
The sleepless nights, the housework, for most an outside job as well, the constant laundry, wiping bottoms, noses, doctors visit, stopping having a life of your own and putting plans on hold while they are very young, the sicknesses. All of this with no pay. No one realizes while there is food, clean underwear, timely paid bills, maintenance done and everything is going well. When things are going well, mom is invisible. All the little things that hold the home together is unrecognized by everyone for the most part.
Motherhood is humiliating
When your child toots in front of others, burps like a frat boy in public, when there is poop in your outfit because the diaper leaked, when you walk around with spit up covered clothes, when you are in the car just covered in a blanket because your child vomited all over you.
Motherhood is humbling
All the big statements you made prebaby, crumbling right before your eyes. You feel like a jerk for making judgements on things you had no idea about. You eat a lot of crow and humbly pray to God for forgiveness. When you judged women out with their 1 week old babies and then you find yourself sitting in a restaurant with your 5 day old, that is humbling.
Motherhood makes you grow up
You have to be so much better than you ever thought you could be. Selfishness is not an option. When you think you don't have anymore to give, then you give some more. When you haven't slept more than 5 hours in the past week and you are sick yourself but then you again get up at 3 in the morning to soothe a crying baby, you are officially grown up.
Motherhood is rewarding
The first smile, calling mama, morning snuggles, hugs around the neck, searching you out in a crowd. And then there is the privilege to nurture a child, have him look up to you, and pray for him his entire life.
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Trip Highlights
We reached Portland safe. For the first couple of days we stayed with R's friend and his family and day before yesterday night we moved to the hotel. We had booked at the Marriott, but my word, the room was so small that we were tripping over stuff especially with our big suitcases and the crib in the room. Real estate must be premium here in Portland if an upscale hotel has such a small room. I wanted to get another place and we moved to the Hilton which is further away from his work, but at least I am not tripping over things.
Neil was very good on the flight. He was so excited to be on the flight and seeing so many people. He was flirting shamelessly with everyone and was just as happy as could be. Even in the car drive home, he was happy and singing loudly in his car seat. And he was okay even on Sundnay morning. Bay Sunday afternoon, he started getting cranky and has been since then. He doesn't like the jar food anymore and as for trying to change the diaper - It takes both of us to do that. And he kicks up a huge fuss. I am not even sure if there is anything bothering him or if he is just giving us attitude. I am getting a good lesson on patience - LOTS OF IT. I am assuming that all the traveling and the new places and time change has been hard on him. Or maybe he hates the lack of sun. I know I do.
I haven't done much here. Since R came for work, he is really busy. I had planned for Neil and I to do some activities around here, but it is so cold and rainy and with his fussiness, I am really too chicken to actually try and do anything. Just having lunch with Neil is adventure enough. Just yesterday while we were at lunch, he threw his pacifier down, and by the time I bend to pick it up, he picked up the paper napkin from the table and stuffed it into his mouth. When things get a litlle hairy in the room, I put him in the car and drive around. That calms him down and it is a little break too. R is so busy he doesn't really have a lunch break, so I pick up a Subway for him. His naps are erratic too, so that doesn't help.
Hopefully things pick up a little soon. I still love him even though he is Neil McCranky pants :)
Neil was very good on the flight. He was so excited to be on the flight and seeing so many people. He was flirting shamelessly with everyone and was just as happy as could be. Even in the car drive home, he was happy and singing loudly in his car seat. And he was okay even on Sundnay morning. Bay Sunday afternoon, he started getting cranky and has been since then. He doesn't like the jar food anymore and as for trying to change the diaper - It takes both of us to do that. And he kicks up a huge fuss. I am not even sure if there is anything bothering him or if he is just giving us attitude. I am getting a good lesson on patience - LOTS OF IT. I am assuming that all the traveling and the new places and time change has been hard on him. Or maybe he hates the lack of sun. I know I do.
I haven't done much here. Since R came for work, he is really busy. I had planned for Neil and I to do some activities around here, but it is so cold and rainy and with his fussiness, I am really too chicken to actually try and do anything. Just having lunch with Neil is adventure enough. Just yesterday while we were at lunch, he threw his pacifier down, and by the time I bend to pick it up, he picked up the paper napkin from the table and stuffed it into his mouth. When things get a litlle hairy in the room, I put him in the car and drive around. That calms him down and it is a little break too. R is so busy he doesn't really have a lunch break, so I pick up a Subway for him. His naps are erratic too, so that doesn't help.
Hopefully things pick up a little soon. I still love him even though he is Neil McCranky pants :)
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