Friday, January 07, 2011

I got nothing

I got nothing today as I am busy cleaning out the office room (at least in my head)which we are turning into a guest bedroom. But I have these pictures for you.



Too bad Neil is not going to remember.

Thursday, January 06, 2011

Discipline

I am not a very disciplined person. I fall off the bandwagon all the time. Also, I am no good at far off or long duration goals. This is the main reason why I think my resolutions fail. So this year I have decided on goals for a couple of areas of my life. And this is only for a month. Anyone can do anything for a month, right? I am hoping that at the end of one month, the good disciplines might become habits. I did not want to write it at the beginning of the year, but the following are my goals for January in no particular order:

1. Self Discipline (Anti-Procrastination Challenge): I am a big procrastinator. And when I finally do the thing that I had procrastinated on, I find it only took 10 or 20 minutes and I have been giving myself stress for that silly a thing. Say, even if it took an hour, it seems awfully silly if you look back at the past 6 months and wonder why in the world you didn't have 1 hour to do something. I am trying to get to one procrastinated task every day and also trying to do things on time so as to get out of the whole cycle.

2. Spiritual Discipline: I am trying to not just read the Bible everyday, but actually meditate on his Word. I am not doing any reading plans for the month, (not that it doesn't have its time and place) but reading and thinking and chewing on it the whole day. As part of it, I am trying to wake up before Neil, but so far that is not happening. I do manage to read with him around and it is going okay actually, but ideally I would like to be up before if I can.

3. Physical Discipline: Crunches, Stretching and Running. I have been doing that since New Year and I am very pleased. Actually I went running only for a day since it was too cold today. I usually go running with Neil and I didn't want to take him out in the cold. I am thinking from now on, if it is too cold for me to run, I will ask R to look after Neil and go to the gym in the evening. Crunches/stomach exercise is important if I have to make sure I don't get a relapse of the October debacle.

4. Blogging Discipline: I will try my best to post everyday for the month of January (except on Saturdays and Sundays). I want to see if it is something I actually enjoy or only think I enjoy. On the whole if I find myself thinking of it more as a chore and less as enjoyment, I will call it a day and shut down the blog and journal my thoughts in pen and paper as and when I feel like it.

5. Commenting Discipline: It goes along with blogging, but I am trying to comment on blogs I read regularly. It is often just laziness to get off the reader that prevents me from commenting. Not that I will comment on every.single.post of everyone. And I do no want to comment if I have nothing to say. But I want to comment at the very least and say, yes I am reading.

6. Work Discipline: I am helping R with our business and I have one project to complete and one other specific thing I hope to accomplish and am well on top of it.

These are my January goals in addition to all the regular things that are going on. As and when things don't go well, I am trying to identify what the problem is and rectify it accordingly.

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Did you not miss the list?

I spent way too much time in front of the computer today. Like the last one hour. Plus, nothing much happened today. Unless you want to hear in detail how I cleaned the high chair. Hmm. Didn't think so. So it is going to be a list.

1. The last one hour was spent looking at baby clothes. I love those cute longalls and shortalls on boys. Hubs thinks it is a little girly, but I think it is adorable.

Case in point:



What is your opinion? Hopelessly girly or freaking adorable? Or somewhere in between? Some sites I have been are this, this, and this. It is expensive though. Which is why I am just looking. Besides I have a husband who very possibly might kill me if I buy any more clothes for Neil.

2. Speaking of which, I wish I knew to sew these adorable clothes. Wouldn't that be all kinds of awesome? But alas, my sewing skills are limited to sewing a button to a shirt and that too just barely.

3. Speaking of sub par skills, I have those at baking, and decorating as well. To bring it to focus, here is a picture from a Christmas dinner at church where a lady made this.



And this.



4. I have clothes in the dryer that has been there for the past three days. To be sure, I was not procrastinating on that, I just plain forgot. Today, I found some clothes missing and that is when I remembered the dryer.

5. My anti-procrastinating challenge is going well. Today, I put the dining table linen to wash and put a new one in. And washed the high chair. It looks brand new. I have to admit though, that it is so difficult to do things with a baby constantly underfoot and trying to "help." But most of the time, I let him. I love having him around and for now, he loves hanging out with me.

6. I resumed my c25k run today. It felt good. Okay, I am saying that only because you are supposed to say that after exercise. I felt like I was about to die when I was running. But the cool down walk? Absolutely loved it. Saw a neighbour walking her dog and stopped and chatted with her and let Neil play with the puppy. Both were highly energetic and did each other good.

7. Hubs is on a binge of Battlestar Galactica. He also hurt his back. I hope he recovers soon. From both.

8. I am planning on starting an Indian cooking feature here on the blog once a week as a response to innumerable (okay, one) request. I was thinking I would do it on Thursday and name it Tasty Thursday. Or should I have it on Saturday and call it Spicy Saturday? Or both are corny and just put a recipe online already, woman? I will try to have fairly simple Indian dishes complete with photos. I am hoping to start next week.

9. At least today I want to sleep before midnight. I have been trying everyday, but end up not doing it. I guess the cute baby clothes are not helping.

10. That is all, folks. Good night.

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Choices

Today I finally closed one chapter in my life. I was not actively working for the company I used to work for, but I was still on the roster and had not cut the ties completely. Not because I wanted to hang on to the job, but for various other reasons I just don't want to get in to in this post. I went there with Neil, got my pension papers. Instead of 401k matching, my company used to put a specified amount each year for all the employees. And now that I "retired", I was able to vest it. It is truly the Lord's provision (We had completely forgotten about it). R and I were talking about saving up for our tax return. This year we will end up paying a lot of money on our return and since we are a one income family now, saving is not quite that quick. Praise God for meeting our needs.

I joined work on January 2, 2006 and my last day of full time work was August 20, 2009, just before I left for maternity leave. After that I worked part time, from home, on call until July when I left for India. When I came back, I submitted my resignation, but nothing was acted up on until today. I walked out of the office for the last time today. There was a lot of drama since I re-joined work after maternity leave in 2009. God worked out the details such that I walked out with my head held high, a satisfaction of work well done and fulfilling Colossians 3:23

23 And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, (Colossians 3:23, New King James Version)

Since we went to town, we made a half day out of it, by going to Babies R us, Costco and the insurance office to pay our van insurance. And being out half day, there was no time to prepare lunch, so Neil and I shared a n*ked (just want to stop the spam) burrito from Qdoba and got a subway for R. Neil fell asleep on the way back and I was just in a contemplative mood. Recently, I saw an email from a friend (who is in a very high position in a company) who has two kids. Being in a high and responsible position, she just gets home to have enough time to barely see her children before bath time and bed. Both husband and wife have great careers, so they have the best childcare etc. But she says she regrets not being able to see her kids grow and being unable to spend much time with them. Choosing to stay home with the kids or continuing with a career are intensely personal choices (If you are lucky enough to be able to actually make a choice and it is not focred upon you by things beyond your control). On the half hour drive back, I had an epiphany. When we make these kind of choices though, we are not really making a present day choice.

We are choosing regrets.

We are choosing 20 years from now what we will regret more. Not spending enough time with our children or not having had a career/paycheck. I know a lot of us don't have the luxury of choice. Circumstances force some who want to be with the kids to be at the workplace. And you will never find one word of condemnation or condescension for outside working mamas here. And I know that if our circumstance change, I will find work and work cheerfully in a heartbeat. But now, I have the blessed privilege of choice and when I thought about what would be my regrets, it was very clear to me that I have made the right choice.

Monday, January 03, 2011

Sinkful in Chore World

New Year Resolutions are so yesterday. Everyone is talking of word of the year. If I should have one, it needs to be anti-procrastination. Although from the amount of food I ate today, one would wonder if it is EAT till stomach burst. Neil and hubs have recovered completely and I feel worst in the mornings, and slowly start getting better over the day. After two days of complete rest, we finally ventured out today. As part of the whole anti-p deal, I wanted to send a book to my niece (which was sitting at the coffee table forever), and send her home keys to my friend. It was on my to-do list for a whole month. Got both of that done at the Post Office and next we headed to Chipotle for some dinner. I was planning only on having half a burrito bol, but sad to say, licked it clean.

After that, as if all the hogging were not enough, we went to Don Pablos for dessert. Hubs and I shared a chocolate volcano. I was saying I am too full and cannot eat a thing, but proceeded to do good damage to that as well. I know it is TMI, but I had to unbutton my jeans on the way back.

Clearly, 2011 does not seem to be the year I am going to lose any weight.

Another A-P thing I did was to clean out the van. What a mess! I am not entirely sure how two adults and one baby can make so much mess. It felt SO GOOD to clean it out. I am excited to tackle these long overdue things on my list.

I have to admit though, that I am kind of neglecting my daily chores like sweeping the floor. I am thinking that if I ignore it long enough, it will qualify for the a-p list and then I can feel really good about myself. A win-win really.

I had sent a card to my friend and it came back undeliverable. Today I got an email from her saying she has been in Tahiti for the last 9 days and is going to Bora Bora tomorrow and will call me after she gets back. What a boring life! I get to clean out chewed out goldfish crackers from my minivan. I bet she doesn't even have a minivan.

I am happy for her.

Maybe 90% happy and 10% jealous. (Name that famous serial)

Signing off to tackle my sink-ful life,

Annie

Sunday, January 02, 2011

Blog Direction

I have been thinking a lot the past few weeks on the direction I want to take the blog. I have been "technically" blogging for 4 years. I put it in quotes as my posting has been very sporadic. My best year I have achieved a post a week. I have been thinking about the following options.

1. Closing the blog, period.

The thing is, I do like writing here. And more importantly, I like keeping a journal of the happenings of our family. You know what they say, the days are long but the years are short. I want to remember this time in our life. I know the readership is very very small for my blog, but it is not like I made any effort to improve it. I have been a very bad commenter and stopped commenting on even the few blogs I read.

2. Closing the blog, and starting afresh anonymously.

This is a little tricky, I have held back on some things here on the blog as I was just not ready to share it publicly. And because of that, I sometimes feel I am not being completely myself. One reason for holding back is respecting the privacy of my family members, being anonymous will help with that. But there is a part of me that doesn't want to do that. I am not sure exactly why, but it feels strange.

3. Continuing with the same blog and being committed.

With my blog, I have a neither here nor there approach. I post very randomly, but I expend a lot of mental energy thinking about it, but not actually doing anything. I hate to be so lukewarm. I don't post my blog in facebook, other than my mom and sister, no one even knows about the existence of my blog in the family. (I have a very extended family). I am a fairly private person, and I know it sounds weird, sometimes it is just easier for me to have complete strangers read the blog than family. I have never felt comfortable sharing the url with anyone else, but I wonder if this is the year I shed my inhibitions and move forward and be comfortable with who I am and our family circumstances?

4. What about theme and how much is too much?

I don't care for a theme for my blog as I like to write about daily life more than anything. Yes, I have opinions on "Biblical" womanhood and submission, and parenting, and frugality but I don't really care to make a blog on those lines. But I also know that a daily life blog is not exactly riveting information to anyone other than ny mom. I always liked it to be a smorgasbord of things, the way I am in real life. It is also a hard thing, maintaining a blog and knowing the balance about how much is too much. I have, as I mentioned before chose not to share certain things without being deceptive. Looking back, I now have mixed feelings about it.

So in summary, I am confused. Hubs is ready to buy me a domain as per request and as usual I am completely indecisive about the whole thing.

Opinions, anyone?

Saturday, January 01, 2011

2010 in Review

Is it okay that it is already January 2011 and I am doing a look back on 2010? I wanted to do it yesterday, but was more in the mood to look at my resolutions. Once I started looking at it, I just could not stop laughing. And I ended up doing the other post.

So this is 2010 in summary.

January: It was quite a depressing month. My mom left after 4 months with us, my sister and family had just left after 10 days with us and work was getting really crazy. I was still suffering from cheloids from the tear during the delivery, pumping every three hours, working full time, getting up with Neil at least twice in the night. I was involved in a really difficult project at work as well. It was hard and I remember being unhappy most of January. After mom left, R's mom came in Jan to stay with us until May. The fun parts were that Neil rolled over, and we started giving him solids in his high chair. We bought an exersaucer for Neil and he loved being in it. R shifted jobs.

February: My MIL found out that she had to leave as she got a visa stamped only until Feb 24. I gave my notice at work and said my last day would be February 23. My boss persuaded me to stay and said I could work from home and select the projects I wanted, and I agreed. Started officially working from home on February 24th.

March: I applied for Neil's American passport, his Indian POI card, and tickets to India. R said I could travel by business class on my way there as I was traveling with just Neil and it turned out to be one of the best decisions. Neil developed an ear infection.

April: I started helping R with the business and also started making baby food for Neil at home. It was really simple and I loved doing that for him. I tried a variety of foods, baked, steamed and he really had a good appetite and was happy to try everything. The only downside was he never cared for jar food afterward.

May: R had a work trip to Portland and Neil and I joined him. We got married in Portland and I wanted to see the place again. It was cold most of the time, but we had a really good time there. We visited with a lot of friends, went to the park, and just ate a lot of Indian food. It was nice to visit the Japanese and Rose garden with Neil which we had visited as newlyweds. We also visited the Pittock Mansion. Most of the time there was a walk down memory lane, and we really enjoyed it. It was also the last month of breastfeeding/pumping. I hadn't planned it that way, but in ended up like that due to travel, and all the changes.

June: Neil starts swimming and Gymboree. Both didn't go well. He kept getting sick and I had to take him out of the classes. He would not get along with the swimming instructor and after going to the classes, I would not recommend Gymboree to anyone. I think it is a waste of money. R's parents come for a visit and we went to visit Washington DC and NY. We stayed with my sister and family in DC and booked a hotel in NY for 2 days. Neil got sick again and I totally didn't enjoy the NY trip. We found out he had a ear infection again and took antibiotics. We met up with a friend from Toledo there and despite the sickness was a good time with family. Neil started army crawling.

July: I was preparing for my India travel. Also preparing for a party we were planning to give for Neils first birthday. I made some decorations and crafts and I think I did a pretty good job. I left at the end of July. Spend the first two days with my in-laws and then went home for a month. Neil starts crawling on hands and knees. Got an offer back from where I was working and they offered me a good deal. Neil got another ear infection. Temporarily stops swimming lessons.

August: In India with parents and brother and Neil and having a great time. Missing R who is back in the US. Neil turns one and we have a small party at home with just family. There is a prayer, message, food and cake. It was a sweet time.

September: Neil and I travel back to my in-laws home and wait for Dada to come. Neil had a huge party thrown by his grandparents in Mumbai and my parents also joined for that. Neil got to wear his first Sherwani and he looked stinking adorable. In India, we did a lot of traveling with both sets of parents. Neil got on top of an elephant and had a lot of adventures. After coming back, I had another party for him for our friends here. My friend was able to come for that from St. Pete. We had Indian food catered that was so mild that my American friends who liked the real stuff was disappointed. But most others were able to enjoy. I turned 30, but didn't do anything other than a dinner out.

October: After lots of thinking and prayers, declined the offer from work. Lots of sickness and lots of travel for R. I had a flare up of DR and it was so bad that I went for a week to my sisters house to recuperate (R was traveling). That had to be the hardest flight that I ever took. But the one week was pure bliss and I was back to normal. We started swimming again, but gave up until next season as I was getting sick and he was bawling through the entire thing anyway.

November: I started getting more involved in the business and was managing a project. BIL came here for a conference from Baltimore and we also had a birthday party for a daughter of our friend. Thanksgiving was with some sweet friends from church. I had stress fracture on my leg and was finding it hard even to walk. Wore a fracture shoe for most of the month. R was working crazy hours and traveling a lot.

December: I had decided not to do any decorating, but gave in one day and decorated the whole house. It felt so much better to do that. Sent out Christmas cards, took Neil to see Santa. We celebrated 5 years of marriage. To make up for not doing anything for birthday, Rajiv got me a ton of gifts. 2 Coach bags, outfits from White House Black Market and from Ann Taylor. We celebrated Christmas with some sweet friends and their families. Since Christmas we have all been sick, so 2010 ended on a sick note.

I pray that 2011 is better in terms of health for all of us.