I don't write a whole lot about frugality here in my blog. The main reason being that if I were to write about frugality, it might sound like a post on "How to spend excessive money on groceries" or something like that. And that is becasue frugality and the measure of it means different things to different people. These days sleep is a little elusive for me and I was thinking about it and what it means to me and what I learned since I started on this journey.
I was never a great spender to begin with. When you have to live on $600 a month, with a very real possibility of no income over the summer, frugality comes naturally. Especially if you are aspiring to graduate with no debt. Although I never spent inordinately after I started working, I never thought much about any of my purchases either. I might shop around a little bit, but that was about it. I never questioned the necessity or the long term value much. I believe that after graduating school, where I denied myself a lot of things, I felt a sense of entitlement. Today when I clean the cupboards, I come across a lot of those "entitlement posessions," which now serves the sole purpose of creating clutter and getting on my nerves.
When I started blog-reading in 2006, frugality was a thread in most of the blogs I read although they were not expressly blogs on frugality. As is my personality, the experiment on frugal practices was mostly crash and burn. I was high on saving money by couponing for a while and then suddenly, I lost the charm. The lack of health didn't help. But the experiment helped me in many learning many lessons, some of which I am going to share here.
1. It created awareness.
I became aware that I might not be as frugal as I thought I might be. The first step in implementing a cure for anything is realizing that there is a problem. One of my bad habit was stocking up on fruits and vegetables and then throwing them out as we (usually) never managed to finished them on time. It never occurred to me that though it is nice and good to eat fruits, I don't have to buy strawberries, cherries, watermelon, pineapple, grapes, and oranges all in one week.
2. Its not the same for everyone.
There is no standard measure of frugality. It varies. We don't have the same privileges or restrictions as a 1-income family as of now. So I don't have to run from pillar to post trying to save 40 cent on grapes while ignoring other things. There is a funny story that goes with it. My life is all about irony. I was once trying to hit 3 or 4 stores getting good deals on different stuff on the way back from work. Then I went to CVS scoring free toothpaste, and by the time I got home, I was too tired to cook and we ordered pizza. The cost of the pizza was more than what I saved and I ended up with free toothpaste I didn't really need. I had to laugh at myself on my money saving skills. There are time, flexibility, distance restrictions that might make it difficult for all familes to implement all the excellent means and methods of money saving that might be found online.
3. Food habits.
We are a predominantly veggie family. I once posted a picture of the amount of veggies we eat. And that is only half the week. Most of them are not even available in the traditional grocery store. And yes, it is expensive. The spices? Expensive as well. So the nice weekly $40 food budget which works for the family of 4? Doesn't work for us. I tried cheaper Asian stores, but the quality was bad, most of the veggies were half rotten and it was just not worth the trouble.
4. Sitting on making a decision
Or in other words, intentional buying. This has been the biggest money saver yet. Before I started on this journey, if we needed something, we always bought it. No brainer, right? Afterall, we are not talking about wants here. That is what I used to think. Now, I look for alternatives. A good story would be about the tape converter. I promise I will post that soon.
5. Not all needs are created equal
Recognizing the difference between a need and a want should have comes to me easily. But again, the sense of entitlement pokes its ugly head. We travel a lot, we get lost easily, so we need a GPS. The sub conscious thought is this: everybody has a GPS, I want one too. never mind that my phone has google maps and web access, I deserve it becasue I work so hard and I am so special. When I look down deep into the recesses of my thought process, a lot of needs end up like this. This is not to bash anyone who buys GPS. The point is to tell you how I challenged my thinking on wants that on the surface looks like needs.
6. It is not meant to suck every joy out of life
We travel a lot, and we love doing it. We take 1 or sometimes 2 vacations in a year. Although vacations never made the cut and I never questioned that expense, I was more cognizant of the choices I was making while I was traveling. Again, irony abounded. For example, I am a water person. I do not drink tea, coffee, wine etc, and started to drink coke only after coming to US. That too very sparingly. The same with juices. We still buy juice in the house for my husband, but I never bother to drink any just becasue I don't like it very much. That being the case, I noticed that I would order juice at a restaurant when we travel! Basically I would order juice for many times the cost at a restaurant (and not even drink quarter of it), but drink water at home. How stupid is that?
7. It is not meant to hamper giving
There is always a hoarding mentality that comes with saving money, but it is important not to go overboard with frugality that it becomes painful to give. I always think of "give as I go" a good way to do it. If I wait until all my personal goals are settled, then many years down the line, I might have the money, but not the heart to give.
Were you always frugal or did you learn along the way like me ?
9 comments:
I think we think along the same lines in many areas here. I've never been good at being actively frugal, but agree with and try to practice many of the things you mention here.
I know being frugal is a necessity for many people, but I think frugality itself can sometimes take too high a place in people's minds.
Thanks for sharing about this.
Yes, frugality means different things to different people! My mother, for example, buys hot coffee in the summer, insisting she saves money by adding her own ice at home. As she sips her semi-homemade iced coffee, she lounges in $500 Versace jeans.
For me, frugality is worthless without quality. White flour is cheaper than whole. I only buy whole grains - it is an investment in my health. I will not buy inexpensive, poor quality clothing; I know that a cashmere twinset will last for years when properly cared for. A pricey pair of quality heels is better than a cheap pair that must go to the cobbler every other month. Frugality cannot be measured in terms of money alone.
And yes, a GPS is absolutely worth it. Every year they come down in price, too. If you are like me and have a panicky meltdown when lost (particular in an unsafe neighborhood) the safety and mental well-being cannot be underestimated.
Allison
I grew up in a very well off family (oil business), so frugality is certainly not something I was raised with. While I don't necessarily think my parents throw money around, we were never hurting for anything, and I was given most of what I wanted.
As a working single, I was still able to buy myself most of what I wanted, even on a teacher's salary, which wasn't great in Texas at that time.
It really wasn't until I was married and wanted to be a SAHW that I started to get serious about frugality. It's been a definite learning experience, one that isn't yet over. I'm still learning stuff and tweaking things.
The biggest thing I've learned is that I absolutely cannot compare what my household does with anyone else's. For example, that $40 grocery budget you mentioned. Obviously, we've seen the same "ideal" weekly budget around the blogosphere. So many bloggers trying to duplicate that budget. Why? We all need to do whatever works best for our own families. I don't really even track our grocery spending, to be honest. I buy what we need. Period. While I do attempt to get the best prices, I don't really worry about it much. Maybe if we were in dire straits, I'd be more concerned with it, but I'm not striving to be like someone else.
Our biggest downfall has been our house. We bought a real lemon. I get frustrated because we save up so much money, then the house eats it all up. That's just downright frustrating! But, if we weren't trying to live frugally, we wouldn't be able to pay for the repairs, so I guess it's okay. I just wish we could do more fun stuff with our money!
I think I was always aware of being frugal just because I was the oldest child in an often poor family. I had to help scrimp by, so it came naturally to carry on those practices later in life. Frugality didn't suck the joy out of our lives; we just learned to find joy in things that don't cost money. ;)
However, I agree that frugality that tends toward hoarding is wrong, just as wrong as blowing all your money on yourself. Both extremes are selfish, and neither take into account some rather difficult passages in the NT. I think that the more the Lord has given us, the heavier our stewardship is. The more He's given us, the more He expects us to share. Anyway, speaking of joy ~ there's no joy like giving as much as you can to the Lord!
Okay, so I thought of something else that I had to add... :)
I grew up and lived single adulthood in frugality of necessity. Living poor in necessity is what leads to a sense of self-entitlement when you have more, right? I faced a little of that upon marriage to a man who makes decent money. :)
But it didn't take us long to figure out that there are reasons other than necessity to be frugal. We don't have to be frugal right now. (Though it makes sense, as we're facing layoff round #2! :)
Our entire reasoning for being frugal changed when we realized that we aren't entitled to anything. What we have is of the grace of God, and as we love Him, we will naturally wish to give as much as possible to others as a way to give to Him. This is frugality out of purpose, not circumstance.
We are frugal because it enables us to give more. (And because frugality makes sense, but I digress....) What I save on groceries is a lifeline to a kid in Bangladesh that we sponsor, etc.
Money, Possessions & Eternity reinforced a lot of these thoughts. Of course I don't agree with everything Alcorn said, but I agree with more that he said than any other money-author. He conveys a joy in giving much the way that other authors subtly convey a thrill in saving and hoarding. :)
When my heart-reason for frugality changed, it changed my whole attitude from one of necessity, hardship, and privation to unspeakable joy.
These are good thoughts. Frugality is a continual learning journey for me as well. There are always other factors that affect our level of frugality because money is not the only factor: time, stress, fatigue, busy-ness, quality of product, and so forth. I want to serve decent tasting and nutritious meals while shopping sales. So our meals may revolve around what is on sale more often than not. And I'm not the most frugal person out there. We do buy a certain brand of ice cream when we buy it. There are a few items that generic cannot touch quality-wise. And that's just food.
We don't want to feel "poor." It's a lot about the attitude you have for what you've been given. I also want to have an open hand with our possessions. It's so much easier when you live with the realization that every single thing you own belongs to the Lord.
Annie, your story about the pizza has me laughing so hard. Been there, done that, that's for sure.
We're much more in the "don't spend if you don't really need it" & "live simply so others many simply live" camp (as were my parents) than the $40 a week, run everywhere to get savings, grocery group. I grew up in a blue collar family and my husband was an enlisted Army brat, so while neither of us wanted for anything, we didn't have many of the "essentials" that many of our peers do, and honestly I think we're MUCH better for it.
God & charity, our savings acct, the retirement accts, and Sarah's college fund are paid first and then we work with the rest to take care of our basic needs, perhaps a treat or two or a special gift for someone we know who needs cheering up, and anything left over goes right back into the charity and savings fund. We live quite well on one-income, IMHO anyway, thanks to many bumps & bruises along the way. As difficult as those lessons were, they are ones I am most grateful for. The Lord knows Sean & I needed them! ;o)
Oh, I must mention it's nice to know another "water person." Sometimes I feel like the only weirdo who eschews tea, pop, coffee, alcohol, and juice for the clear goodness that is water. Sean makes fun of me for not drinking any "social beverages" LOL
Oh my gosh! You do the same thing with buying fruit that I do!! lol. And I thought I was the only one who did this! Good to know I am normal. I have been doing better with that whole fruit buying thing lately but I still find myself throwing fruit out because I cannot eat it fast enough before it all goes fuzzy on me. lol.
"I was never a great spender to begin with. When you have to live on $600 a month, with a very real possibility of no income over the summer, frugality comes naturally."
Oh those days of MS!! I initially had a $400 pre-tax income with the Special fee etc. of around $1000, coming up every semester. With monthly expenses of $250, I was still saving 150 toward the next sem fee :) Things changed a little with change of jobs etc., but the side income helped me a lot too. A great Thanks to you and R for getting me started with that. For those days, it was very handy. Fast forward to now, everything I do is anti-frugal to say the least. I don't cook at all and eat out all the time and spend significant amounts on some social hobbies, but still save up a decent percentage of income from each pay check. I can save a lot more if I cook and do some stuff by myself, but I don't think it's worth it now. You are right, frugality depends on each person's perspective. But one thing that caught my attention was $40 a week on groceries and food for a family of four, kudos to those who get under it, for a single guy, I spend around 150 a week. And regarding coupons, my uncle told me one thing once, you go to a distant store to get the best deal instead of a neighborhood store, what abt the gas cost, the mileage and the fatigue from traveling extra distance each week, also the whole collecting of coupons, calculations and stuff need extra effort from you on your brain cells which would otherwise be peaceful, I couldn't agree more. Peace.
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