First of all, Merry Christmas to you all.
I had a wonderful two days. R and I celebrated 5 years of marriage on the 24th. He is a very very busy man, but he took off on the 24th and 25th and we just had a great time. I got a lot of gifts, but the best gift of all was some great time together. Christmas Eve was with our friends here and that was really nice too. It refreshed me so much to spend some family time.
I had decided not to do a tree this time, but I finally caved in and put it up 2 weeks before Christmas. For whatever reason, it really lifted my mood and cheered me up. I was in a down mood for a lot of days leading up to that, but the lit tree really made a difference.I didn't decorate as much as usual, but it was nice to do something.
R and I don't usually buy gifts for each other for Christmas, but Neil got a toy kitchen, a rock, roll and ride trike, a Duplos set and clothes. Okay, so he only really got the toy kitchen, the rest were all stuff that had not been opened before and which we decided to open today. At any rate, he didn't care. I got a bunch of really cute clothes from Gymboree totalling $216 for $36. Most of the stuff I bought is 2T and above. All I know is if God blesses us with another boy, he won't need a thing. For that matter, even if it is a girl, she won't need a thing until 1 year old. Most of what we have is gender neutral up till 1 year old.
Christmas day is winding to a close now and I can't help but reflect on the last year. I know that post is supposed to go up in a week, but I am just feeling reflective now. ha. It has been a good year. The Lord has been good to us and blessed us as a family. Personally, so many milestones for me. I quit my full time job for which I had trained 6 years of my life. It was not a very easy decision, but it was not as hard as I thought it would be, either. I had to pray a lot for God's guidance on that one. There was a lot of going back and forth until the decision became final on my part in October. I don't want to go into any details here, but it ended up with me feeling a bit sad on some counts. But I really enjoy being home. With my husband's business, and all the housework, and the little one, there is hardly any leftover time. Leaving my job has been a step of faith for us as a family as me being home full time was not something we had really planned on doing. But we all feel it has blessed our family collectively.
R has been traveling a LOT this year. Before, I used to wonder how I would manage Neil without his help. I remember the time he was born, I was terrified to travel with him by myself. Then I took him by myself on a 24 hour flight to India. So, I have improved in this whole motherhood thing. :) The traveling was insane for him this year and looks like we are having a similar year coming up.
I had two bouts of sickness and through it all, Gods grace was amazing. I am not saying that I want to get sick or experience pain like that. I hate being in pain. But there was purpose in that. Experiencing God's mercy, love of family, brokeness, for that I am grateful. Just as hard as the the pain was the feeling of inadequacy, helplessly watching others do what I felt I should be doing, feeling that I was not contributing. It was a good learning experience. I am praying for a healthier 2011.
The rain is falling outside and I am all warm and cosy here. Both my men are fast asleep upstairs. It has been half an hour now since I started writing. There is a glow from the Christmas tree that is warming my heart. I see the ornament of a little angel with "Believe" written on it. It is for the memory of a little angel that all but me has possibly forgotten. But that word is a reminder and a promise.
Believe. For I have seen the goodness of the Lord. Believe. For with God all things are possible.
I am humbly grateful.
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