Friendship Muse

Today I am thinking about friendships. I have never had a ton of friends, just a few good ones. I know it sounds corny, but my husband is truly my best friend! We tell each other that we needed to be as we are both home and are together all the time. haha. Being in a new city right after marriage, where neither of us had any friends or family really got us closer. To be honest, after a while, neither of us felt a need to be with anyone else. You could say we became a little antisocial. It was a different life for R as he had always been the life of the party back in Ohio where we met, but I was always a bookworm and a tad antisocial anyway, so I settled into our new life pretty well.

Since then, we have had friends come and go. I never felt a void or a need until Neil was born. It was at that time I really craved for some friends. I joined a meetup group so I could form some fun frienships with moms who had kids Neil's age. I went on playdates so I could discuss what our kids where going through at that stage and of course if they were SAHM as well, well, that would be fantastic. The meetup thing never worked out. Although, I had become a little bit more extroverted after being a mom, at group settings, my inner introvert always came out. I was frustrated. I looked at the blogs of moms and they were all surrounded with friends. I was jealous. It was not like I was asking for a lot, I was just wishing for a like minded friend in real life. I was unhappy.

I am not sure why it took me a long time to find the answer to that. But it came to me one day.

I was looking for friendships in all the wrong places. I don't mean the meetup group is a wrong place to look for friends. Or the church. Or Bible Study. But it could be, if I am looking for friendships for filling a void only God can fill. Had a rough mommy day? Take it to the cross. He refreshes my soul. Since coming to that realization, I have learned certain things. One is that you cannot force friendships. It has to click. I have experienced the not clicking with people who were great "on paper." And sometimes, you are looking for that great "in the same boat" likeminded friend that you almost miss the boat on people God brings to your life. (Pardon the pun) Singles, older married, and really old ones too :) I smile now, thinking how important it was to me to find mommy friends. I have learned a thing or two since then. And I am glad. I am also glad I found some new sweet friends. Who once called me while R was out of town and we chatted for 4 hours. :)

I have had good friends who drifted away with time, friends who call only when they need me (sometimes I am that friend!), and some great friends with whom we can pick up just where we left off. Those are rare!

What about you? Are you surrounded by friends? Do you feel the need for companionship?