- Scratch onto my face when I get mad
- Scratch mommy's breast when I don't get enough inga
- Ball up into a fist and eat it
- Pull out my pachifier when mom and dad tries to cheat me into going to sleep when I don't want to.
~Neil
Saturday, October 03, 2009
My hands
I love my hands a lot much. They are my bestest weapon. I use it to:
~Neil
~Neil
Thursday, September 24, 2009
One Month
Dear Neil,
You are one month old today. How fast the time went! When they brought you to me after cleaning and wrapping you, they placed you in the crook of my arm, and you were facing away from me. I could not speak for a few seconds because I was all choked up from holding you for the first time. Then I called your name and you turned around and looked at me. You were a few minutes old at that time. I firmly believe you recognized my voice. That fills me with awe even now.
But now you are a month old! And this is what is going on with you.
1. Your Appacha and Ammachy (grandpa, grandma) are here now. All of us have different names for you. Your dad thinks that the name I call you is feminine and he is right. But I don't think you mind now. I know that the time will come soon enough when I can't call you that anymore. Appacha calls you Neil Armstrong and he talks to you a lot. It makes me smile to hear that.
2. You are a small guy especially compared to your American peers and if I had a dime for every time someone says what a tiny guy you are, I will have a lot of dimes. Your Mama has heard how tiny she is all her life, so you come by it honestly.
3. You have a bassinet next to our bed, but you sleep on our cot between us from the day you came home from the hospital. Before you were born, I vehemently told your grandma that you will be in the bassinet, but once you were here, I realized that I sleep better having you next to me. I like having you really close to me.
4. You love looking at the light and when you are fussy your daddy can calm you down by taking you to look at the light.
5. You love music and you go to sleep soon when the music is turned on.
6. You love car rides and you hardly make a fuss when strapped in the car seat.
7. You love it when I sing to you and if your little tummy is full, and I sing You are my sunshine you are out like a light. You sleep 3-4 hours continuously and that is such a blessing.
8. You have such a pleasant personality. You only cry when you are hungry. You don't even make any fuss for wet and dirty diapers.
9. You smile the sweetest smiles while sleeping and it melts my heart. My dad says it is because you see angels in your sleep.
10. It is hilarious how you make complaining sounds when you nurse and doesn't get enough milk. You look at me out of the corner of your eye, forehead wrinkled with worry and drink and complain at the same time. I feel bad that I am unable to provide enough milk for you, but your complaining is still very funny to listen to. Although it took me a while to smile about that.
11. You sometimes get nightmares and cry out loud suddenly in your sleep. I pick you up and hold you close and you go right back to sleep. I know that later in the years I will look back to this time and sigh about how easy it was to comfort you.
You come up with new things to capture my heart everyday. You are such a blessing in our lives.
Love,
Mama
You are one month old today. How fast the time went! When they brought you to me after cleaning and wrapping you, they placed you in the crook of my arm, and you were facing away from me. I could not speak for a few seconds because I was all choked up from holding you for the first time. Then I called your name and you turned around and looked at me. You were a few minutes old at that time. I firmly believe you recognized my voice. That fills me with awe even now.
But now you are a month old! And this is what is going on with you.
1. Your Appacha and Ammachy (grandpa, grandma) are here now. All of us have different names for you. Your dad thinks that the name I call you is feminine and he is right. But I don't think you mind now. I know that the time will come soon enough when I can't call you that anymore. Appacha calls you Neil Armstrong and he talks to you a lot. It makes me smile to hear that.
2. You are a small guy especially compared to your American peers and if I had a dime for every time someone says what a tiny guy you are, I will have a lot of dimes. Your Mama has heard how tiny she is all her life, so you come by it honestly.
3. You have a bassinet next to our bed, but you sleep on our cot between us from the day you came home from the hospital. Before you were born, I vehemently told your grandma that you will be in the bassinet, but once you were here, I realized that I sleep better having you next to me. I like having you really close to me.
4. You love looking at the light and when you are fussy your daddy can calm you down by taking you to look at the light.
5. You love music and you go to sleep soon when the music is turned on.
6. You love car rides and you hardly make a fuss when strapped in the car seat.
7. You love it when I sing to you and if your little tummy is full, and I sing You are my sunshine you are out like a light. You sleep 3-4 hours continuously and that is such a blessing.
8. You have such a pleasant personality. You only cry when you are hungry. You don't even make any fuss for wet and dirty diapers.
9. You smile the sweetest smiles while sleeping and it melts my heart. My dad says it is because you see angels in your sleep.
10. It is hilarious how you make complaining sounds when you nurse and doesn't get enough milk. You look at me out of the corner of your eye, forehead wrinkled with worry and drink and complain at the same time. I feel bad that I am unable to provide enough milk for you, but your complaining is still very funny to listen to. Although it took me a while to smile about that.
11. You sometimes get nightmares and cry out loud suddenly in your sleep. I pick you up and hold you close and you go right back to sleep. I know that later in the years I will look back to this time and sigh about how easy it was to comfort you.
You come up with new things to capture my heart everyday. You are such a blessing in our lives.
Love,
Mama
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Birth Story
I am not sure if anyone is interested, but I thought I will share my birth story anyway. At the very least, it will serve me as a detailed record of the day he was born.
My due date was August 26 and when I had my routine doctors appointment on the 21st, I was not the least bit dilated. Doc said if nothing happened by my due date, we would talk about getting something done. Anyway, Monday morning at 7:30 I got my first official contraction. I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions for a long time, but I knew instinctively that this was different. It wasn't very painful and I had another one at 7:50. It was 20 minutes apart and since I figured there was plenty of time, I didn't wake hubby. Then there was another at 8:10 and 8:30. By then, my parents had dressed and were ready to go to the hospital. Mom has a history of fast labors and she wanted me to get to the hospital fast. I was more inclined to wait a little more, but I finally woke R up and at 9, we headed to the hospital. We got there at 9:45 and by then, the contractions were coming every 5-6 minutes and lasted about 30-40 seconds. They put me in triage and a nurse checked me. I hated the nurse (and I usually love the nurses) they had at triage. Her name is Blair and at the end of our stay at triage, we named her "Blairwitch Project" She had the worst bedside manner and I had horrible bleeding ever from her cervical checks. I was terrified that she would be the nurse for labor, but thankfully there were other people at the L&D unit.
When they first checked me at 11:00 am, I was only dilated 0.5 cm! They asked us to go home. We had no plans of going home, so we waited at the hospital cafeteria and front lobby and finally went back at 3:30. When they checked me again, I was at 3 cm and 100% effaced and since I was really miserable by then, they decided to admit me. The doctor came and did an ultrasound and saw that he was posterior and a little transverse as well. She said that she was going to break my water and start the pitocin to speed up the labor. We neither agreed or disagreed and we had to wait another two hours before admitting me. By then, I was really getting miserable and unable to talk. Initially, we had resolved to wait until 6 cm to get the epidural. We figured that getting an epidural might slow down the progress of labor. But, at that point I was really in pain and yelling for the epidural.
They had not checked for dilation for a while figuring that I had a long way to go. At 6:00 pm, my water broke naturally and when they came and checked, they said I was completely dilated and it was too late for an epidural. Hubby got livid at this point since we had mentioned about the possibility of labor progressing fast and they had not taken that seriously. The main reason I had decided on an epidural was to avoid the "ring of fire." I had to calm him down since I didn't want to get the nurses back up at that point. Thankfully, another nurse came and checked and said I was at 9 cm and there was still time for an epidural. In spite of the pain, I felt good because I didn't feel as much of a wimp as I was actually in transition stage when I was moaning and groaning and not 4 or 6 cm as we thought I was.
But by the time the IV was in the system and the epidural took effect, it was time for pushing. Even with the epidural, I felt every contraction, and that helped with the pushing. I pushed for 45 minutes and they gave me rest for 1 hour and then again pushed for 45 minutes and finally he was born at 10:53 pm. I didn't need an episiotomy, but tore naturally. But, because he was in a transverse position, he had a hematoma when he was born. The size has reduced now, but the doctor says it will be 3 months before it completely goes away. He also had slight breathing problem and was taken away for observation immediately after birth, so I didn't get to hold him immediately.
I was in labor (including early labor) for almost 16 hours, but when I held him in my arms for the first time, all the pain and tiredness was just magically swept away! It is truly the best feeling in the world!!
I also should mention this as an aside:
When I was in the L&D room in a lot of pain and waiting for the epidural, hubby decided to figure out if I was in real labor or not. He asked me what 25 times 7 was. I answered 135 and then 165 before saying 175. He says that the fact that I actually multiplied in my mind was enough evidence for him that I was loopy and truly was in labor! Normally, I would just subtract 25 from 200.
They didn't teach this method of labor detection at Lamaze though.
My due date was August 26 and when I had my routine doctors appointment on the 21st, I was not the least bit dilated. Doc said if nothing happened by my due date, we would talk about getting something done. Anyway, Monday morning at 7:30 I got my first official contraction. I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions for a long time, but I knew instinctively that this was different. It wasn't very painful and I had another one at 7:50. It was 20 minutes apart and since I figured there was plenty of time, I didn't wake hubby. Then there was another at 8:10 and 8:30. By then, my parents had dressed and were ready to go to the hospital. Mom has a history of fast labors and she wanted me to get to the hospital fast. I was more inclined to wait a little more, but I finally woke R up and at 9, we headed to the hospital. We got there at 9:45 and by then, the contractions were coming every 5-6 minutes and lasted about 30-40 seconds. They put me in triage and a nurse checked me. I hated the nurse (and I usually love the nurses) they had at triage. Her name is Blair and at the end of our stay at triage, we named her "Blairwitch Project" She had the worst bedside manner and I had horrible bleeding ever from her cervical checks. I was terrified that she would be the nurse for labor, but thankfully there were other people at the L&D unit.
When they first checked me at 11:00 am, I was only dilated 0.5 cm! They asked us to go home. We had no plans of going home, so we waited at the hospital cafeteria and front lobby and finally went back at 3:30. When they checked me again, I was at 3 cm and 100% effaced and since I was really miserable by then, they decided to admit me. The doctor came and did an ultrasound and saw that he was posterior and a little transverse as well. She said that she was going to break my water and start the pitocin to speed up the labor. We neither agreed or disagreed and we had to wait another two hours before admitting me. By then, I was really getting miserable and unable to talk. Initially, we had resolved to wait until 6 cm to get the epidural. We figured that getting an epidural might slow down the progress of labor. But, at that point I was really in pain and yelling for the epidural.
They had not checked for dilation for a while figuring that I had a long way to go. At 6:00 pm, my water broke naturally and when they came and checked, they said I was completely dilated and it was too late for an epidural. Hubby got livid at this point since we had mentioned about the possibility of labor progressing fast and they had not taken that seriously. The main reason I had decided on an epidural was to avoid the "ring of fire." I had to calm him down since I didn't want to get the nurses back up at that point. Thankfully, another nurse came and checked and said I was at 9 cm and there was still time for an epidural. In spite of the pain, I felt good because I didn't feel as much of a wimp as I was actually in transition stage when I was moaning and groaning and not 4 or 6 cm as we thought I was.
But by the time the IV was in the system and the epidural took effect, it was time for pushing. Even with the epidural, I felt every contraction, and that helped with the pushing. I pushed for 45 minutes and they gave me rest for 1 hour and then again pushed for 45 minutes and finally he was born at 10:53 pm. I didn't need an episiotomy, but tore naturally. But, because he was in a transverse position, he had a hematoma when he was born. The size has reduced now, but the doctor says it will be 3 months before it completely goes away. He also had slight breathing problem and was taken away for observation immediately after birth, so I didn't get to hold him immediately.
I was in labor (including early labor) for almost 16 hours, but when I held him in my arms for the first time, all the pain and tiredness was just magically swept away! It is truly the best feeling in the world!!
I also should mention this as an aside:
When I was in the L&D room in a lot of pain and waiting for the epidural, hubby decided to figure out if I was in real labor or not. He asked me what 25 times 7 was. I answered 135 and then 165 before saying 175. He says that the fact that I actually multiplied in my mind was enough evidence for him that I was loopy and truly was in labor! Normally, I would just subtract 25 from 200.
They didn't teach this method of labor detection at Lamaze though.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
The new normal
I had started writing my birth story a week back, but looks like the writing of the labor will take more time than the actual labor which was 15.5 hours. So stay tuned (or not) for the birth story full of excitement and intrigue coming to a blog near you. I could be finishing up that right now, but I don't feel like that. I just want to randomly write about stuff today, which, come to think of it is no different than any post I write here.
We are adjusting to the new normal here. When people say that a baby changes everything, boy, they are not kidding. I had to go to my office to pick up a package that came for me, and when I was walking up the stairs and getting into my room, it seemed surreal like I did all this a lifetime ago.
It is evening now and the house is quiet except for the dishwasher going on in the background. My child is on a life and death mission to double his weight in the next month, so he was nursing every hour in the morning. Now father and son are sleeping upstairs. I am downstairs in front of the computer. I know I am supposed to be sleeping when baby is sleeping, but somehow I don't feel like it even though I have been up half the night nursing, changing and rocking my baby to sleep. I am tired, but I am savoring this alone time right now.
Emotionally, it has been a crazy three weeks (more on that later) as well. I have been so thankful for the sisterhood of moms who called, emailed, and loved on me this time. Hubby is great, but he is not a woman and not a mom and so only up to a point did he *get* what I was going through. I will remember this time as the one in my life where logic and reason went for a trip and in their stead hormones came to party. I have never had PMS, and pregnancy hormones were nothing to write home about. The couple of meltdowns I had during pregnancy were over stuff I would have been upset anyway. So when the postpartum blues hit, it was so unexpected, I fell down in the middle of the road and got run over. I was crying a lot, there was stress over various things and physical recovery was slow. I still cry much easier than I used to, I hope that it will get better soon.
Baby sleeps right next to me and right now, he is most active in the night. So after feeding him, we lie next to each other and stare at each other. I look at him, trying to memorize every feature because he changes every single day. I sing to him "You are my sunshine" and put in his name instead of "only". Then I pray this blessing over him. Those are the most precious moments in my day. I thank God every day for our Nathaniel (gift from God- his name was derived from that) and I pray that we would raise him as God would have us raise him. Our attempts at parenting are sure to be pitiful at best, but God is faithful and his promises are steadfast.
He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young
Isaiah 40:11
We are adjusting to the new normal here. When people say that a baby changes everything, boy, they are not kidding. I had to go to my office to pick up a package that came for me, and when I was walking up the stairs and getting into my room, it seemed surreal like I did all this a lifetime ago.
It is evening now and the house is quiet except for the dishwasher going on in the background. My child is on a life and death mission to double his weight in the next month, so he was nursing every hour in the morning. Now father and son are sleeping upstairs. I am downstairs in front of the computer. I know I am supposed to be sleeping when baby is sleeping, but somehow I don't feel like it even though I have been up half the night nursing, changing and rocking my baby to sleep. I am tired, but I am savoring this alone time right now.
Emotionally, it has been a crazy three weeks (more on that later) as well. I have been so thankful for the sisterhood of moms who called, emailed, and loved on me this time. Hubby is great, but he is not a woman and not a mom and so only up to a point did he *get* what I was going through. I will remember this time as the one in my life where logic and reason went for a trip and in their stead hormones came to party. I have never had PMS, and pregnancy hormones were nothing to write home about. The couple of meltdowns I had during pregnancy were over stuff I would have been upset anyway. So when the postpartum blues hit, it was so unexpected, I fell down in the middle of the road and got run over. I was crying a lot, there was stress over various things and physical recovery was slow. I still cry much easier than I used to, I hope that it will get better soon.
Baby sleeps right next to me and right now, he is most active in the night. So after feeding him, we lie next to each other and stare at each other. I look at him, trying to memorize every feature because he changes every single day. I sing to him "You are my sunshine" and put in his name instead of "only". Then I pray this blessing over him. Those are the most precious moments in my day. I thank God every day for our Nathaniel (gift from God- his name was derived from that) and I pray that we would raise him as God would have us raise him. Our attempts at parenting are sure to be pitiful at best, but God is faithful and his promises are steadfast.
He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young
Isaiah 40:11
Monday, August 31, 2009
Introducing Neil
Blessed art thou O Lord Our God,
King of the Universe who has kept me alive
and sustained me and brought me to this
wonderful moment.
King of the Universe who has kept me alive
and sustained me and brought me to this
wonderful moment.
Baby Neil born August 24, 2009 6 lb 2 oz, 19.25 inches long.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Daily Life
1. Facebook is great and all, but almost all my blog friends are on facebook, and now I hardly feel like blogging at all. I love the fact that I have had personal communication with almost all of those I met through the blog. And few of them I can call friends for real. Isn't that great?
2. Tomorrow I start my maternity leave. I am 39 weeks today and according to the doctor, anytime now! I have finished all the work related tasks on my plate and things at my job are really slowing down for our group. My boss was saying it is a great time for me to be out since billable work is less anyway. I see it as God's perfect timing.
3. My hands and feet have swollen a bit more, and yesterday I had a headache, but I am doing much better. I guess there is the emotional aspect of having my parents around that really helps.
4. Mom is just getting used to the machines and mechanisms here such as dishwasher, washer, dryer, so I am not completely free of work, but the fact that I don't have the responsibility of cooking is a great relief!
5. I finally did the baby clothes laundry and when I left for work this morning, Dad was sitting and folding itty bitty baby clothes. It was really adorable!
6. I am hoping baby holds off for a couple more days until I get R to finish setting up the pack-n-play at least. I have given up on anyone putting together the crib for me, but the little one needs somewhere to sleep!
7. Those who are on my facebook know, I had a meltdown yesterday, but just having the baby clothes laundry done was a huge weight off my shoulders. It made me feel so much better!
8. Last day of work before leave starts tomorrow and I am looking forward to the time at home with Pa and Ma and getting things done around the house. Hubby is holed up in his man cave as he is very busy at work. Both of us are relieved that I can go shopping for stuff with them and just get things done. He is happy he doesn't have to come and I am happy I have someone to go with.
9.Bill, please stay away.
2. Tomorrow I start my maternity leave. I am 39 weeks today and according to the doctor, anytime now! I have finished all the work related tasks on my plate and things at my job are really slowing down for our group. My boss was saying it is a great time for me to be out since billable work is less anyway. I see it as God's perfect timing.
3. My hands and feet have swollen a bit more, and yesterday I had a headache, but I am doing much better. I guess there is the emotional aspect of having my parents around that really helps.
4. Mom is just getting used to the machines and mechanisms here such as dishwasher, washer, dryer, so I am not completely free of work, but the fact that I don't have the responsibility of cooking is a great relief!
5. I finally did the baby clothes laundry and when I left for work this morning, Dad was sitting and folding itty bitty baby clothes. It was really adorable!
6. I am hoping baby holds off for a couple more days until I get R to finish setting up the pack-n-play at least. I have given up on anyone putting together the crib for me, but the little one needs somewhere to sleep!
7. Those who are on my facebook know, I had a meltdown yesterday, but just having the baby clothes laundry done was a huge weight off my shoulders. It made me feel so much better!
8. Last day of work before leave starts tomorrow and I am looking forward to the time at home with Pa and Ma and getting things done around the house. Hubby is holed up in his man cave as he is very busy at work. Both of us are relieved that I can go shopping for stuff with them and just get things done. He is happy he doesn't have to come and I am happy I have someone to go with.
9.Bill, please stay away.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
The food bit me back
So tomorrow my parents should be here, God willing. They are starting from home in a few hours and it is a LONG flight which should get them here midnight tomorrow. I am very excited about their coming, but am also ashamed to admit that I am very much looking forward to all the food they are bringing. It is not really a pregnancy craving, just general home food craving. I have them all the time.
I had a rough Sunday with food poisoning. It was the most sick I have ever been in my life. Even two days later, I am still feeling kind of weak. I don't know what the culprit is. I am thinking it is a doughnut I ate Sunday morning. But apparently, no one else who ate that had any issues. So, who knows? I lost 7 pounds in the last two days. At 37 weeks, I am at 118 pounds. I am keeping myself hydrated all the time. Hopefully, I will bounce back soon.
So the anticipation of all the food is also a result of deprivation, I guess. Or, that is what I keep telling myself.
I had a rough Sunday with food poisoning. It was the most sick I have ever been in my life. Even two days later, I am still feeling kind of weak. I don't know what the culprit is. I am thinking it is a doughnut I ate Sunday morning. But apparently, no one else who ate that had any issues. So, who knows? I lost 7 pounds in the last two days. At 37 weeks, I am at 118 pounds. I am keeping myself hydrated all the time. Hopefully, I will bounce back soon.
So the anticipation of all the food is also a result of deprivation, I guess. Or, that is what I keep telling myself.
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